Condemned from the world.

[kenshin]

Day One: Dreaming and Realization.

-Within a Dream Like state-

Darkness...

The limitless void.....

The Portal to nowhere....

An empty void where lost souls dwindle there for eternity.


He was swimming in it. Or atleast he thought he was. His hands were pushing through nothing but darkness, His ears could hear the mysterious sounds of whispers around him. His eyes panickly looked everywhere, But nothing but a limitless void, and random shades and swirls of purple in random places. Where was he? How did he get in this place? and most importantly....what happened to the fight between him and Xenarius? His thoughts were interrupted by a low breathing sound. He looked around frightened, but his eyes cannot see through this darkness, this void. The low breathing started to grow louder. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. What was happening?Why can i not speak?!His thoughts were able to speak out. The breathing grew louder, and more rapidly, like a person with allergies. Raphael's eyes wandered through the darkness to find where this breathing came from. At first he thought his eyes were closed, so he closed them and opened them, only to see that all was still dark. And that same rapid breathing was now getting closer.

This isn't happening...This isn't happening....THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! His thoughts were screaming out. However, small purple orbs were forming around the dark void that he was confined in. These orbs started stretching, then expanding. And Suddenly started to take the form of human faces. If he could see himself in the darkness, his face would be utterly twisted in horror. But it got much worse. The purple faces were starting to look more like...like...Like him! He started to stumble back, moving away from the faces, But more of them started forming. Now he knew where the heavy breathing was coming from. It was the Raph face in the center, It had a huge maniacal grin. nothing but teeth was shown, it's eyes were bulging, And its breathing was erratic. Suddenly the head started spinning, its speed was steadily increasing. soon it was too fast to make its face out. Soon he saw the other bunch of heads get caught in the spinning head. It started to grow, until a giant purple Raphael head was seen. It's bulging, piercing and horrible eyes stared right into his own. Now it was breathing at that Heavy and Rapid pace. Then all of the sudden, a sharp piercing scream escaped from its lips. It's face started to twist in horror and agony....

Then it freezed, This was now a face that was in complete horrific pain. However, He gasped in horror at what he now was seeing. The eyes started to slither out and melt into a purple pool of liquid. Soon the face began to melt away, pieces of the purple flesh starting to drip into the purple matter, soon the flesh was gone, then the tissue, then a purple skull, which then soon floated into the purple matter, into nothingness. Raphael himself, was breathing erratically. He has encountered many sites of horror before, but this was something beyond comprehension, NO, From Reality! Soon the liquid started coming together, the soft wet clay like molds started to make a model. IT son was straight, and soon started to take a human form. Raphael was now in a state of shock. He could not move, He could not breath, He could not speak. But all he can do is watch, Watch as the purple liquid mold became, Himself. Yes, The Purple liquid that was the Raph heads conjoined into a liquid mold, then into a solid form. It was down, The entire figure's pigment was purple. The hair, the arms and legs. however, when it opened its eyes, they were all Dark. All that can be seen for iris's were two small, but Visible Red orbs in its eyes. Raphael's Eyes stared right into its, His face literally painted with horror. When it was grinning at him, Long purple fangs were shown, along with a small pint of drool. It started to make its way toward him.

Raphael tried helplessly to get his body to move, to open his mouth to speak. But something was wrong. It was as if his mouth was sewn shut, and his whole body was bounded by chains. Only his thoughts were free. The Purple Raph came closer. Raphaels thoughts started screaming, N-no!....NO! I'm...I'm not like you!...I'll...I'll Never be like you! His mind was
saying defiantly. He didn't want to do the things he did back 'There' and what he did here! He was his ownself. HE was his own individual. He chose Non-conformity. Soon, the purple clone was standing eye to eye with him. It opened its jaw, and soon all was black once again...

Soon after that, a loud piercing scream was heard in the now less darker room. The scream lasted for an estimated 2 to 3 minutes atleast. Until his breathing, which was very eradic, was heard. His bloodshot eyes were straining to gain focus. For now everything was a tad blurry, but he could make out the room to be a tad dark and light blue, like a mixture. He finally was able to get the feeling in his body again, and rubbed his eyes to clear his vision. He was still breathing very hard. infact he was very hot and sweaty, and his body was almost sticking to the sheets. HE slowly peeled himself off and slowly sat in an indian style form. He was very terrified at what he saw. That was, he could not believe that was himself, His inner Demon! It was so terrifying, that he was actually crying a small bit.


He wiped the hot tears away from his sweat stricken forehead. this was quite an experiance. But what did it seem all real? Did he have this kind of dream before? Or was it a vision? He would need to dive deeper into the confinds of his mind, and search the truth forhimself. But first...he needed to tell someone about what he would be doing. His eyes strained through the light darkness of this mysterious room, and found his jeans with his cellphone out. He walked to it, wobbling abit on the way and took it out of his jeans pocket. He flipped it open and saw Sensei Maveriks Number in his phone book. A fresh tear strode down his face as he text the following....

Sensei...im...im going on a Vision Quest....A Spirtual Journey....A Trek to the inner sanctums of the human mind....After what had happend during the bloody fight between me and Dear Xenarius, I had a sudden dream. I...I saw myself, The being that would Draw blood, whether it be friend or foe...For the past years i thought i had gotten rid of It...but after the taste of blood, It resurfaced and nearly took the life of a friend. Now i must descend into the deep dark bowels of the human mind...my mind...to know about the Soul, the Concience, the Heart, The Mind, and the beings who inhabit them [I.E. Us]. so...til then i bid the watchmen farewell... He paused to wipe away more sweat and tears to continue on with his message. I seemingly woke up in an empty room...nothing but a bed, a window and a bathroom....since i woke up here and have nowhere else to go....This is where I'll stay til my journey is complete...i shall talk to you and only you...but if you wish..you may share our conversations with the other watchmen....do not forget me....Yet Do not forget who we are...and who we are bounded too...This is Raphael....Transcendentalist in training...Signing off...
And with that, he hit send and soon the message would be immediatly deliverd to Maveriks phone, or maybe it would take a while cause they probably have different services. So he placed his phone back into his jeans.

He got up to stretch and looked toward the window. Beyond that window laid our reality, But many people do not know of the other reality, The Inverted Reality of the human mind...

[kenshin]

Day 2-5: Marking Steps.
(a small Dream sequence in this one. Next one will have a better one)

For the past days he has been encountering the ame dream sequence from his first day here. The Purple Clone heads of him, and that thing. every time he would wake up either on the bed or on the floor, drenched in sweat. But now he would do something about it. He would find a way to record all of this. but first he would need to get up.

"Ok...and...Up..We go." He said to himself silently, Placing a hand at the end of his mattress which was literally covered in his sweat. He put all his strength into his arm and legs, and helped himself up onto his feet. He still felt weak from his Visual Nightmare he had gone through. The Strangest part of it was, It felt so real. He placed a hand over his sweat drenched chest. He could not feel a difference at all. His body was very hot, so this whole room was basically a blast furnace. But the only he was able to feel was his heart, It was beating like fists connecting to a punching bag. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then exhaled. He needed to calm his body so his mind can focus clearly.


And so after 3 minutes of breathing exercises.Letting the damp air fill his lungs and sighing out the inhaled air, his heartbeat was now normal. He took a minute to observe his surroundings still. A while ago his eyes were focused on the window with the drapes closed. He breathed in and out once again. His eyes were now only adjusted to the mixture of dark blue in this room. So he made his way toward the window. The creaking of the floor echoed in his ears. His hands reached for the fabricated Drapes. His eyes were shut for the moment, till he spread away the drapes revealing the high density light from outside. "AHH..!" He yelped out along with a low hiss. He pushed together the drapes so it would be that dark blue again.

'I guess I'm not used to light now...' His thought spread out disappointedly. But i guess its all for this journey. if i must conquer the darkness in ones heart, i must blend with the darkness.' He rubbed his eyes some, his eyes getting now used to this 'blue' environment. His nose was picking up a scent. It was putrid, almost as if in some room there laid bags of trash. But curiously it was very close. Until he lifted his arm up, and then he knew. It was him. Oi.... Is all his mind could think. The horrible dream and heat must have taken a toll on his bodies fragrance. His nose squinted abit at the stench. It be best if i find the bathroom and take a shower...

The odd mixture of blue in the room has provided him with a sort of light that didn't quite hurt his eyes, which was good enough to find the restroom. So there was a short hall, Two doors, and another room. The room at the end of the hall would probably lead to the kitchen, The two doors at each side he would need to see what they were. And so after taking one deep breath, he walked into the middle of the hallway, and stared at the door to the right. 'Is this it...?'. His hand was open and soon closed on the cool confined of the door knob. He could now only hear the sound of his heart beat. a slow yet stable tune. With his wrist twisting the knob all the way, He thrust the door open to reveal nothing back darkness.

His left arm was bent over his chest and his right arm was forward and knife straight, Taking a defensive stance. If he was still dreaming, he would expect something to come out of their, Or...that 'Thing' that took his form. He shuddered deeply at that thought. And so he waited in his stance for three minutes, anxiously waiting for something to happen. But nothing. No sound, or movement. So he decided to brave it. He carefully started to move his arm forward, his muscles were abit stiff so he had to shake his arm along the way. His hand was shakey, a man can't help but be nervous when he faces the...'Unknown'. His index finger was forward, and it touched something. Something he didn't remember feeling.


And so a short but audible yelp escaped from his chapped lips as his back slammed into the wall, by himself. His breathing was now a tad bit erratic. But soon he calmed himself and stood up straight again. His arm once again reached in for the object that touched his index finger. He felt it again, and his arm jolted back to him. He reached in again, and felt the smoothness of something. His hand moved up and it all felt the same. Is it...clothing? His mind wondered. So he felt around more for a light switch. Fortunately he was able to find it.

It was one of those metal balled string ones. his fingers felt around it. and with a sudden grasp and tug, he switched the light on. When he saw the flash, he covered his eyes and uttered a minor hiss. He slowly started to open his lids, and peeked through his fingers. The light bulb was nearly dead, the room, which was now identified as the closet, was illuminated by a lowly dim light bulb. The light stung alittle, but not enough to hurt him. And so through the slit in his lids, he looked and saw a few things. a black hoodie, black jogging pants, He looked down and noticed a stack of papers, and three pens.

This was perhaps, the up side of this ordeal he was facing. With these items in his possession, he'll be able to mark his progress with his 'inner assignment'. So he bent down and picked up the objects with his hands and held them closely to his chest. This is where i will mark my progress from the depths of my mind and conscience. He thought proudly. He then turned and walked back tot he front room, where his bed was located when he awoken. He set the stack and pens on the end of the mattress. He looked down and spread a small smile. He really wanted to count the stack of papers, But he started to smell the putridness of himself get stronger. so he covered his nose with his hand and turned and dashed back into the hall once again.

When he got back he was in the middle of the two doors again. He turned to his right, shut the light off, and closed the closet door. And so he turned to his left, to the door On his left, and placed his hand on the cool knob and twisted. He opened it slightly, and saw nothing but dark blue, which proved their was a window in the bathroom. So he opened it All the way, and voila! It really was the bathroom. He stepped in, and sighed in relief. HE saw the light blue become a bit brighter. IT was obvious that morning daylight would soon emerge. So he closed the blinds, so only small thin cracks would let the light through.

"That's a bit better." He said in a low, somewhat hoarse tone. He was happy that things were going his way so far. A writing set so he can write down what transpires in his mind, and found a nice set of clothing, and a bathroom with light concealing blinds. But his throat was horribly dry and raspy. He looked to his right to find by his side, a simple little sink. He walked to it and turned the cold water on. He watched as the clear and calm liquid poured rapidly out of the nozzle on the sink. He cupped his hands together and filled his hands with crisp cold water. He then simply Drank it and gargled for a short amount of time.

He then simply spit the water back into the sink, and practiced his vocals. "Do-Re-mi-fa-so-so-la-ti-do!" He said loudly. Yup, his voice was now loud and clear. He breathed in and out two times before he looked to the tub. It looked fresh and clean, like it hasn't been used at all. He smiled and strode to it, he turned the hot and cold water on, and matched them perfectly to get a decent temperature. He then lifted the shower lever up, and soon the water sprang out from the shower head. He then started to hum a slow and peaceful tune, as he slid out of his sweat drenched clothing and stepped into the comforting shower.


He let the comforting droplets of water hit his hot face. He turned the cold water alittle more, so he would feel a cooling sensation run through his hot body. He let out a sigh of relief. 'Well...Time to bathe.' He picked up a wash cloth, and looked around for a bar of soap. Luckily he looked to his bottom left to find a small bar of Purple soap. HE lathered up the cloth and placed the soap behind him. Then he applied the foam covered cloth around his body, his pits, crotch, every single on his body. However, the purple soap soon started to gorw and take the form of a human body, then it strung long hair like Raphs, Then Its eyes were the same Dark and Red dot iris's they were before. 'It came back.' As Raphael began to rinse off the soap on his body, he started to look for shampoo. But then, a strange purple hand holding a bottle of 'Suave' appeared by Raphs shoulder. Raphael looked to his side and took it.

"Thanks" Raphael said as he looked and opened up the lavender colored bottle. but as soon as the top cap opened, Raphael froze in horror at what just happend. His eyes wanted to peek behind him, but he was frozen in shock. But finally, after conjuring up all the courage in him, and made a sharp turn behind him and threw the open bottle at the wall.

The cap of the shampoo bottle was open, as he suddenly rememberd. And usually when the shampoo bottle hits a surface hard, shampoo literally comes out, and injuries ensue. Sadly all those factors would apply now. The bottle hit the wall, and sprayed some shampoo directly into his eye. Raphael scremed for a few seconds as his hands clutched his right eye. "Son of a bitch!" He screamed out loud. He fell to his knees and his head was on the bottom of the tub. 'God...damn that hurts...!' HE cursed outloud. The burbning sensation of his right eye was literally going throughout his body. With his left eye he can see the water. So cupping his hands he drenched his eye as fast as possible. il be damned if im going to go blind...! He said, cupping and drenching his eye.

Raphael stopped and took a moment to blink a few times.He closed his left eye and opened his right. He blinked his right eye several times to regain normal vision. Once his eye was better, he lowered his head onto the tub floor and breathed heavly. He opened his eyes and noticed something that put fear right back into his heart. his eyes focused onto a puple foot. His eyes were literally straining themselves to see if what he was seeing was real. His head lifted up slowly. A purple leg, A purple torso. And when he finally lifted his head all the way up, he saw his inner self, the purple Raphael. Before he could do anything, He was kicked in the chin with a enough force to knock him out.....

Once again he found it hard to open his eyes. when he could, he once again was surrounded by nothing but darkness. The same msyterious whispers, but one thing was different. HE saw a white light, with a black sillouette of himself, with theose red eyes gazing into his. His arms were spread out, like some kind of god. 'So you wish to explore yourself...?' He heard a low and grimly voice speak out. It just had to be that...'Thing' that was floating. Through my thoughts i was able to answer with a 'yes'. It seems as though i can only communicate to it by thought alone. However the white circle of light around it shifted brightness when 'It' spoke. 'You realize that there have been many incidents in your life that you have kept away for so long.' he heard it say. He knew one thing, it was right. There have been many tragic and traumatizing events in his life, that he swore he would keep away for a long while. But if things need to be done to conquer the lust and evil in his soul, then he;ll need to fight through them all to beat them. 'It will not be easy....are you up for it?' It spoke. It took him a while to think. He vowed to himself and Sensei MAverik that he would find the inner secrest to himself, uncover the darkness in his soul, and see the light. So Raphael, his face beaming in the darkness, spoke through his lips. 'YES'. The light grew bright and blinding. 'So be it....the path is long, but if you live through them in life...then you won't have any problem...beating the darkness....' it spoke before the voice faded away.

His eyes blinked open again, he was back in the bathroom, the shower still pouring on him. He felt a terrible pain in the back of his head though. He looked to see his body in a laying down position, his left leg was sticking out of the bath tub. did....Did his Concience take form and Kick the crap out of him? or was it yet another dream? for now, all he had to say was: "Man i better becareful when im in the shower."

A few minutes later he got out and grabbed the grey towel that hang over the rack, and began to dry himself off. He looked at himself in the mirror, and gazed at his reflextion. His eyes were a tad dark, with all the nightmares he has been going through, he's been constantly waking up in the middle of the night, or the afternoon. He walked to the sink, the towel drapped around his neck, and turned it on cold. He cupped his hands over the cool fluid, and spalshed his face several times. After that, he found a robe hanging on the door and place it upon his body, and covered up.

He walked back to the living room, refreshed but still having a small headache from the 'fall' in the shower. He saw the Pens and Stack of papers. And then he remembered he would be keeping a journal on this. So he spread a small smile, and grabbed the small table next to the bed, and placed the paper on the table and began to write the entry for the past few days.


'The past few days ive been encountering the same dream sequences. To describe it, Im in the darkness, Then purple orbs appear, and turn into clones of my head, including the face. Then they mold together to form a giant...'Raphael Head'. then it release's a horrible high pitched scream of death, and its face and skull literally melt off into a cess pool of purple goo. then out of the goo, a human mold forms, and it takes the shape of myself. Its eyes are completely dark, And only two blood red dots are its Iris's. Its teeth appear razor sharp, and it moves...or floats towards me at a...very demonic way. Right now i have awoken not a few hours ago, and found the Utensils i need to keep a record of this journey. I believe i have been successfully able to reach that one dimension between the awake and asleep world. People just call it that, but to me i can finally give it a name it properly deserves. It shall be called, 'The Inverted Reality'. Because when i was showring Maverik Sensei...i saw him, or me, or 'It'. and i swear...i felt his foot hit me in the chin and knock me out....i could tell you more...but im tired...and my head hurts from...'Falling in the tub'...This is Raphael...signing off...'

And with that he placed his signature on the bottom and folded it. Later in the day he would deliver this Entry to sensei Maverik for Analysis and his opinon. For now, he laid his head back on the pillow, and closed his eyes in hopes of having atleast one moment of peaceful sleep.