Kayar Callahan

[Kayar]

Name: Kayar Callahan (obviously from the above thread subject)

Gender: Male

Nationality: American, parents nationalities are unknown but if it really matters then some Irish, some Italian, some English, and more German.

Age: 16

Weight: 145 lbs.

Height: 5' 10"

Body Appearance: Body of a runner, as he runs cross country/track. Stronger/longer legs, upper body is weak, skinny arms, has a weak punch.

Cosmetic: Wears a gray hooded sweatshirt, khaki shorts, saucony running shoes. T-shirt under sweatshirt, and of course boxers under shorts (I know that's a stupid thing to put here, but I've been in rpgs where people have pointed out that I didn't put in undergarments. ) Wears running shorts when running, obviously.

Eye color: Brown/hazel

Hair: Dark brown, long-ish, almost getting into eyes but not quite. Almost like Oton, I suppose, but not really that long, and it doesn't hang down as much.

Habits: Eh... nothing really to go here that won't be under "personality". Tends to be on the quiet side, and any conversation that gets to deep into his past he will often try to casually change the subject. It's not that he absolutely won't talk about his past, he will if pressed to. But he doesn't like to.

Personality: Quiet, subdued. Often indifferent to anything that doesn't have anything directly to do with him. More inward, not outward. Is nice, generous, would kindly pick up loose change dropped by someone in front of him and hand it right back. Not malevelont. Not altogether benevelont either, as he mostly just doesn't care. Is a bit spacey, often will just stare off into space and forget what someone's telling him, and then just snap right back. Some would say he has a hearing problem, but it's just because he's not paying attention.

Hobbies: An avid online and offline gamer, which contributes greatly to his space-cadet quality. Also enjoys a good book, science fiction and fantasy in particular. Also has a liking to climbing trees.

Extracurricular: Is on the cross country running team, as well as track. This could also go under hobbies, as he somewhat enjoys running.

History: Kayar Callahan was born in Western Massachusettes, far on the east coast of the USA. His father was never known and his mother died in childbirth with him. He was brought to an orphanage, and stayed there most of his childhood. When he was 15, he was framed for a murder and sentenced guilty. He was sent to a youth correctional facility, despite evidence found later that the alligations were false. When he was released a year later, a man was found claiming to be Bill Callahan, his father, living in (where is this again? San Francisco?) San Francisco (correct me if I'm wrong) and he was sent there to meet his father. However, when the plane landed this man was not at the airport, and, after taking a taxi alone to the address supplied by the mysterious father, he found the man lying murdered in his own apartment, with the door of the apartment open. Since then he has lived in San Francisco with his new adoptive father, a man named Harry Smith who took him in after the murder. Since then Kayar has always been on the lookout for any hint as to who might've murdered his father. He transferred to Hircine High and became a sophomore.

Fighting style: Uses legs mostly, arms only for balance and in certain instances when he needs them. Style is self-taught, so he's not incredibly good (If you must know this is only because I don't actually know any real fighting styles myself). Harry taught him a bit of what he calls "drunken boxing", "if ya ever need to get outa a tight situation, if ya know what I mean."

Strengths: Legs are powerful from running, is pretty atheletic, very fast on his feet when he needs to be. Has some moves he's taught himself that use his arms, just simple acrobatic push-off-the-ground type kicks, or break-dancing-ish leg sweeps. Running has also given him a somewhat high stamina.

Weaknesses: Arm strength is very weak, is not a wrestler/puncher, but a kicker. Also, if he were sprinting at full speed, he would be moving very fast but if he were to be hit hard by something while at full speed it would hurt a ton, because he's using all his strength/stamina for the run, not to brace himself/defend.

(Alright, hope this gets me in. If not, tell me what's wrong and I'll gladly change it)

[Kei]

To be honest with you, it's not bad. Maybe if you joined us a year and a half ago it could've been accepted. It's a great start, and definitely not much to fix.

Alright. Just for aesthetics and organization, it'd look nicer if you differentiated the categories with the text; for example

Name: Keisuke Varial.

But, yeah, up to you.

Now..

The body appearance. The average human's legs are about 3 to 4 times stronger than your arms, so, stronger is obvious. Try to be specific on his physique. He has the body of a runner, has strong legs, and weak arms. Are his legs toned? Are his arms even to a certain degree? And you forgot to mention skin tone. Any scars, or noticeable marks? No piercings, tattoos? Facial hair even.

Hair. Here's a pic of Oton. Even if this is a XIN board, there are some who don't know of the flash. Hehe... But, yeah, here's how I made that word a link;

[url=http://www.lifepoint1.com/main/xin/conceptual/character.php]Oton[/url]

His personality. Though I always consider this the hardest and most confusing of a character sheet, I'll consider it well done. Only thing I'm curious about is, is if he's shy, and how he deals with love or a crush and whatnot.

History...

For starters, what I recommend you do, is make Fifteen years old and up a separate paragraph. From the first paragraph, write briefly about the lives of his parents in which what happened when they met, when they got together, and the day he suddenly disappeared and whatnot. Also describe the situation in the hospital, and what actions were chosen to be taken (for example, since he was taken to an orphanage it was obvious that the hospital was unable to find relatives). Onwards, generalize the events in the orphanage that made him the way he is now. Definitely an influence. Any friends and whatnot (though try and flesh it out to a minimum of two paragraphs).

Now, from fifteen and on, this should be about the last paragraph or so (he is only sixteen afterall). What may of happened that night or day he was accused of murder? Pretty much the only way to frame someone is to lock up their alibi before planting any sort of evidence- you know, to knock out any "coincidences." Living many years as an orphan, did he make any friends? Was he a caretaker of "newbies?" How did his father die, and what happened when Harry adopted him? Any particular reason why the adoption took place, always wanted a son, was charitable, wife couldn't conceive? What?

You have a good setup, so, just tryin' to help you out. Of course, there are some things you don't have to include, as it could be discovered by us, the readers, during when you RP (role-play).

Fighting style. For the most part, he's a street fighter. He doesn't know how to fight, and instead creates a mockery of other martial arts (like... maybe Tae-Kwon-Do for example). Is he more of a defender, or offender? Counter-king? Maybe he might watch his opponent for awhile to analyze any weaknesses before going all out. Merciful? As for the "drunken boxing," I can't really accept that. Only martial artists are capable of it. A drunk can't perform while intoxicated, and because it's so hard, it's merely a martial artist fighting with his reasoning and composure stunted. He can't keep himself straight, but incorporates his mental and even physical memory of basic martial arts already in his arsenal. However, because you wrote that Harry taught him something that he calls drunken boxing, doesn't mean it's drunken boxing exactly. So, yeah, didn't completely piss you off now, did I? =P

Strengths. It's not bad really, just try and incorporate some things from Fighting Style, history, build and whatnot to flesh it out. Be sure to include that because he is a runner, he knows how to pace his body, combined with having an already good stamina. His legs have good reach and he's flexible.

Weaknesses. He's simply inexperienced. Because he's frail he's more likely to dodge an attack than block one. Might "over" exploit an opening when seeing one. For example, he's flexible, perferring kicks. He'll go in too deep without noticing it and while trying to attack, will likely (in this situation) expose himself to an opponent, which could very well change the whole outcome of a fight.

Hm... I gave you ideas for you to work with. It may seem as if it's too demanding, but, it's how we run. We try to make the applicant try an above average job on a character sheet to train them for what they're gonna get themselves into. A better grasp on uniting and controlling your character you know?

~Manuel

[Kayar]

Well, you guys certainly do take character bios to a new level. When I've done character bios before things have been a lot more lax. ;D But I didn't expect it to be easy anyway, most rp bios do take a bit to get in, especially when the rp is in the middle. Besides, I would expect this to be a bit harder to get into then the run-of-the-mill Legend of Zelda fan rpg board, which is mostly where I've been. Of course as I said before I know like... nothing about fighting styles. But I'll give it a shot. Ack, where's the "quote" button on this forum? Anyway, you said "Of course, there are some things you don't have to include, as it could be discovered by us, the readers, during when you RP (role-play)." And you'd be right. Some things I'll keep. Some, I'll even allow the leaders of the rp board to come up with their own ideas for plot twists and stuff having to do with his history, as I myself haven't completely sorted it out yet either, for example how his dad died. Anyway, enough talk, I've got a bio to fix... (note that until I get down to things that need fixing this will just be a copy-paste operation)

Name: Kayar Callahan (obviously from the above thread subject)

Gender: Male

Nationality: American, parents nationalities are unknown but if it really matters then some Irish, some Italian, some English, and more German.

Age: 16

Weight: 145 lbs.

Height: 5' 10"

Body Appearance: The body/legs of a runner, legs are slim and long but powerful, lower body is a lot trimmer, in better shape than upper body. Arms are kinda skinny, not as strong. Skin color is white, tan-ish but not really tanned. Scars scars scars... I actually thought about this after I had posted the character bio before, and I kept thinking if he was in a youth correctional facility he must have gotten at least one scar, right? Problem is I'm sure there already is a character that has a scar on his face, that stereotypically gets taken right off by some guy who wants his character to look "tough". I suppose... he has a scar on his back, from an incident in the youth correctional facility that I'll probably mention in the history.

Cosmetic: Wears a gray hooded sweatshirt, khaki shorts, saucony running shoes. T-shirt under sweatshirt, and of course boxers under shorts (I know that's a stupid thing to put here, but I've been in rpgs where people have pointed out that I didn't put in undergarments. ) Wears running shorts when running, obviously.

Eye color: Brown/hazel

Hair: Dark brown, long-ish, almost getting into eyes but not quite. Almost like Oton, I suppose, but not really that long, and it doesn't hang down as much. Oton Oh look, a link, how'd that get there?

Habits: Eh... nothing really to go here that won't be under "personality". Tends to be on the quiet side, and any conversation that gets to deep into his past he will often try to casually change the subject. It's not that he absolutely won't talk about his past, he will if pressed to. But he doesn't like to.

Personality: Quiet, subdued. Often indifferent to anything that doesn't have anything directly to do with him. More inward, not outward. Is nice, generous, would kindly pick up loose change dropped by someone in front of him and hand it right back. Not malevelont. Not altogether benevelont either, as he mostly just doesn't care. Is a bit spacey, often will just stare off into space and forget what someone's telling him, and then just snap right back. Some would say he has a hearing problem, but it's just because he's not paying attention. How would he deal with a crush? I suppose it may depend on the girl, but he'd probably try to ignore her, or might not even pick up on it in the first place, may not notice. If she really pressed it on him though, well, who knows?

Hobbies: An avid online and offline gamer, which contributes greatly to his space-cadet quality. Also enjoys a good book, science fiction and fantasy in particular. Also has a liking to climbing trees.

Extracurricular: Is on the cross country running team, as well as track. This could also go under hobbies, as he somewhat enjoys running.

History: Kayar Callahan was born in Western Massachusettes, far on the east coast of the USA. His father was never known and his mother died in childbirth with him. The official statement on his parents is that his father was a buisnessman from another part of the country who had come up for a buisness meeting. However, no buisnesses in the area were found to have had been having any meetings at the time. His mother worked at the hotel that his father allegedly stayed at. It's not known what exactly happened, as his mother never told anyone about whatever did happen, and in 9 months she was dead in the hospital. Kayar was brought to an orphanage, and stayed there most of his childhood, during which his parents and other facts concerning his birth would often be brought up by the other kids at the orphanage, which resulted in thousands of rumours and insults being put in his face every day.

When he was 15, Kayar was framed for a murder that had been committed by another orphan and sentenced guilty. At the time of the murder he had escaped into an alleyway in the middle of the night, as he had done every night after curfew in order to get away from everything. It was in that alleyway that the murder was committed, and though he tried to run after the real culprit and stop him it ended up being he who was stuck in the alley surrounded by police and looking like the guilty one. He was sent to a youth correctional facility, despite evidence found later that the alligations were false. During his stay in the facility he met a wide variety of people, some of whom showed him a type of street fighting that used your legs mostly. At one point he was challenged to a fight by another inmate, and while he won he left the fight with a nice-sized scar on his back where the kid had broke the rules and tried to stab him with a knife. When he was released a year later, a man was found claiming to be Bill Callahan, his father, living in (where is this again? San Francisco?) San Francisco (correct me if I'm wrong) and he was sent there to meet his father. However, when the plane landed this man was not at the airport, and, after taking a taxi alone to the address supplied by the mysterious father, he found the man lying murdered in his own apartment, with the door of the apartment open. Since then he has lived in San Francisco with his new adoptive father, a man named Harry Smith who took him in after the murder. Kayar has reasons to believe that Harry may actually have known his father and is keeping something from him, but whenever he brings it up Harry feigns ignorance, stating that he never knew his father. Harry may have his own reasons for taking Kayar in. Since then Kayar has always been on the lookout for any hint as to who might've murdered his father. He transferred to Hircine High and became a sophomore. The orphanage he was previously at had a few gaming systems available for the kids to play on, and when Kayar got to San Francisco he used some of the money left to him by his father to buy some games. As I said before, he's a gamer, and because of it often a space-cadet.

Fighting style: A little self-taught, a little what he learned in the youth correctional facility. Street fighting. Uses mostly all leg-work. Can be very fast when he needs to be, is good at dodging blows. Usually will dodge a bit looking for an opening or a weakness and then exploit that weakness as best he can. Uses his arms to do "breakdancing" type kicks and for balance, but not for actual fighting. Almost similar to how Ghai and Hanto fought in session 16, www.lifepoint1.com/flash/xin/xin16.php. He keeps his hands in the pockets of his hooded sweatshirt except when he needs them for certain moves.

Strengths: Legs are powerful from running, is pretty atheletic, very fast on his feet when he needs to be. Has some moves he's taught himself that use his arms, just simple acrobatic push-off-the-ground type kicks, or break-dancing-ish leg sweeps. Running has also given him a somewhat high stamina. He knows how to pace himself, and so also knows when to quit. His legs have good reach and he's flexible. He also has some expirience from the youth correctional facility.

Weaknesses: Arm strength is very weak, is not a wrestler/puncher, but a kicker. Also, if he were sprinting at full speed, he would be moving very fast but if he were to be hit hard by something while at full speed it would hurt a ton, because he's using all his strength/stamina for the run, not to brace himself/defend. Also, he isn't as expirienced as he'd like to be, the only real fight that wasn't training or sparring was with the one kid in the youth correctional facility. He hasn't been in any other real fights. (yes, I am basically just copying here what you already said, Kei, if that's okay) He might "over" exploit an opening when he sees one, leaving himself open.

(Alright, that's it. Tell me what you think)

[Kei]

Lol. It's fine. Though I still see some quirks, it's not mandatory for a sheet to be perfect. Good job.

And, yes. San Francisco.

Approved. Welcome to Hircine.

~Manuel