Post by Evek on Dec 20, 2008 4:39:36 GMT 1
Day three since my arrival to Hircine High. I've had trouble socializing in these past two days, as the students seem to be too busy or too short on time to spend some time helping a newcomer like me. The number of the acquaintances I have made until now was small, and the number of friends was even smaller. With little to no company, I was getting bored. There was simply not enough material for me to do a satisfying tragedy, so I decided to go for my second favorite genre, comedy. It demands much less information, and always manages to make the unsuspecting crowd smile.
So, how was I going to make laughs happen? It was quite easy, actually. I first managed to get out ten minutes early of my last class before my lunch break by saying that I was feeling a bit sick, skipping my breakfast to give myself an anemic complexion. The teacher believed me, falling for my trembling smile, and allowed me to go to the nurse's office - which I didn't.
Phase 1: Get a two lap lead on the student body. - Success.
No, I was going to the cafeteria. I made it to my objective with an eight minute advance on second place. The lunch was ready to be served, with no crowding line anywhere within the food court, which allowed me to get myself a nice platter of meatball spaghetti, a little plastic cup filled with orange juice made of concentrate, two loaves of whole wheat bread and nothing more than fourteen little five gram bricks of butter. Yes, you heard me right, fourteen. The lady at the cashier asked me if I was sure I had enough of the easily melting solid. I chuckled at her easy joke and explained myself.
"My parents want me to gain a bit of weight."
One. Fat. Lie.
Phase 2: Get your hand on the needed supplies. - Success.
I walked out of the food court and headed toward the seat closest to the main entrance, placing my tray on the table. I looked at the clock above the double doors, I had five minutes remaining to do my damage. I took all my little bits of butter and stacked them into four short pillars, before placing my hot platter of spaghetti on it for five seconds. It was enough to nearly melt the yellow dairy product. Once that was done, I scooped up the wrapped butter with both hands and dropped it off right past the threshold of those double doors. I let the now liquefied source of fat flow out of the little aluminum papers for a full minute.
Phase 3: Lay the trap. - Success.
I then knelt down and picked up the fourteen empty wraps and threw them into the nearby trashcan. As I got rid of the paper, I looked down at the floor, it was shining under the neon lights, simply beautiful. I then headed back to my seat, got on the chair, calmly took a paper napkin and wiped my hands clean. One minute remaining and counting. Picking up a fork in my left hand, I slowly mixed the sauce with the al dente pasta, counting silently the seconds down until the bell rang. I wonder, how many will fall of their feet at this unexpected surprise? I can already imagine them, running to get first in line, only to crash and burn. Oh, I will have a good laugh for the next hour, and with a front row seat, no less!
Final step: Serve and enjoy.
So, how was I going to make laughs happen? It was quite easy, actually. I first managed to get out ten minutes early of my last class before my lunch break by saying that I was feeling a bit sick, skipping my breakfast to give myself an anemic complexion. The teacher believed me, falling for my trembling smile, and allowed me to go to the nurse's office - which I didn't.
Phase 1: Get a two lap lead on the student body. - Success.
No, I was going to the cafeteria. I made it to my objective with an eight minute advance on second place. The lunch was ready to be served, with no crowding line anywhere within the food court, which allowed me to get myself a nice platter of meatball spaghetti, a little plastic cup filled with orange juice made of concentrate, two loaves of whole wheat bread and nothing more than fourteen little five gram bricks of butter. Yes, you heard me right, fourteen. The lady at the cashier asked me if I was sure I had enough of the easily melting solid. I chuckled at her easy joke and explained myself.
"My parents want me to gain a bit of weight."
One. Fat. Lie.
Phase 2: Get your hand on the needed supplies. - Success.
I walked out of the food court and headed toward the seat closest to the main entrance, placing my tray on the table. I looked at the clock above the double doors, I had five minutes remaining to do my damage. I took all my little bits of butter and stacked them into four short pillars, before placing my hot platter of spaghetti on it for five seconds. It was enough to nearly melt the yellow dairy product. Once that was done, I scooped up the wrapped butter with both hands and dropped it off right past the threshold of those double doors. I let the now liquefied source of fat flow out of the little aluminum papers for a full minute.
Phase 3: Lay the trap. - Success.
I then knelt down and picked up the fourteen empty wraps and threw them into the nearby trashcan. As I got rid of the paper, I looked down at the floor, it was shining under the neon lights, simply beautiful. I then headed back to my seat, got on the chair, calmly took a paper napkin and wiped my hands clean. One minute remaining and counting. Picking up a fork in my left hand, I slowly mixed the sauce with the al dente pasta, counting silently the seconds down until the bell rang. I wonder, how many will fall of their feet at this unexpected surprise? I can already imagine them, running to get first in line, only to crash and burn. Oh, I will have a good laugh for the next hour, and with a front row seat, no less!
Final step: Serve and enjoy.