Truth spoken from the blind (open)

[Nyra]

No words could even describe what was really taking place in Nyra’s mind as she stood on top of the school roof. Her lonely brown eyes scanned the school ground, watching the students being release from their shackles for their own torment of learning. She watched as they laughed, not caring for the world around them. Ignorant, blind, selfish, and naive idiots’ gawked at one another as they loaded into the yellow bus to take them home too their ’happy’ families. While others loitered around the school yard waiting for friends, family members to pick them up, and the rest either walked or drove home. None even bothered to look up, none even noticed the girl on the roof.

~Idiots…~

That’s when she spotted them, at the far end of the school yard; a couple. Hands locked together, staring into one another eyes, smiling, laughing, kissing. Her heart sank, her nails dug into her palms, anger took over.

“They have no idea what is to come…”

She muttered her brown eyes still locked onto the couple as they whispered sweet nothings to each other. Rolling her eyes she turned around and began to pace herself. Back and forth, left foot, right foot, placing them in front of another as she walked. Nyra thought to herself, that could have been Pine and her; the sad horrible truth, it wasn’t. Instead he left, leaving her alone to fight her own battles, leaving her to her own demise. He was like the rest, ignorant, and selfish. Sure they parted in good terms, but she can’t control that unbearably hate towards him. Maybe he did what was best for her, yet she resisted it. All he thought was ’right’ proved to rip her apart. Perhaps it wasn’t meant to be . Every time Nyra thought she was close to him, he pushed her away. To leave her to rot in her everlasting torment.

Inside her every being she felt like screaming as if there was some unknown force ripping off her limbs. This uncontrolled agony overwhelmed her, this unbearably pain was slowly killing her. In her mind alone she was felt like a trapped animal in a cage as someone poked her with a stick for their own amusement. Her former self was fading into oblivion, fading from all that is real. This existent from with she sought is nothing near from her what she thought. Her own world changed to something she doesn’t even know. Her little world was tossed into a maelstrom and there was nothing she could do. Why was her fate so cruel? She played her cards, laid them all down on the table and only she turned up to be the joker. The fool, the trickster of gaming world turned out to be her. Mocking at her ever aspect, toying with her emotions and no matter what she did it proved to be worthless. Why was she chosen to play this fool?

Because everything she has done was never been use for a clear cause. Everything she ever wanted was probably in front of her, and here she is not seeking it out like a fool she was. And Nyra was sick of it, sick of living the way she is now. There’s been multiply occasions where she actually tired too commit suicide. It was just an easy excuse to run away from her problems, because she was too stupid and cowardly to even face them. But why did she stop herself? Even she can’t answer her own question.

“Caught in the maelstrom fearing an utmost demise…”

She said out loud finally turning around to face the couple who had vanished without a trace. And there she was alone on the school roof.

[John Smith]

But her solitude was soon to be broken.

For at the base of the stairs leading to the roof, I stood with my usual themed clothing. Black with bright spots in the form of a retarded, yet funny, slogan. Today, it was a whiskey 1, whiskey 2 and so on, and for each whiskey the text got blurrier. I myself found this one funny and quite innocent. An image I would welcome with open arms. But I had paused in my walking to find my jacket in my backpack. As I wore the jacket, I tried to zip it, but the zippers were broken so I let it hang unzipped. It might be a little chilly, but as soon as I started the workout, then I would be warm again. I hoped.

As I came through the door to the roof, I noticed someone else. It sort of ruined my idea of getting some training and practise done up here where prying eyes could not see me. I almost turned heels when I recognised the person, it was a girl I had once tried to charm for my schemes. From what I had remembered, she had not disliked me, despite my reputation. But this would be a fresh start. The damage and following surgery had given me a radically different appearance. So. For her, this would be a stranger approaching her, for me, it would be a pleasant old friend I would see again.

”Hey there, Ididn’t expect anyone to be up here.”

I said with a surprised voice and a face that matched it and when I looked closer at her when I approached the fraulein. She didn’t seem alright. Something was clearly bothering her. If I had been something more than the stranger my appearance forced me to be, then I could have been of assistance, and this would have been much easier. But I would have to work with what I had at my disposal.

”You don’t seem alright, what’s wrong?”

[Nyra]

[red]”Hey there, I didn’t expect anyone to be up here.”[/red]

Replied a surprise male voice breaking into her thought, bursting her submission of her everlasting solitude . Who was this newcomer? What did he want? Did he perhaps come to pity her? Free her from her demons whom torture her? Maybe he came to humiliate her? Whatever it was he wanted to know what was bothering her.

Everything, simple and straight down to the point. Everything bothered her, society, poverty, the facility here at Hircin High just everything. It was easier to place blame then to deal with the real situations on hand. Easier to run off to ’lala land’ too face reality. A coward hiding behind the mask of lies and deception. Nyra was afraid to move forward, lingering in the past as if it’s going to catch up and everything is going to be alright. However not letting go of the past was eating her, forcing all that lives within her to turn into solid stone. Thinking of all the days that had passed by her was just a waste of time. Living this was is just a sad excuse too not face her demons, she knew and without a doubt it was a crime. No one sees the torment nor the pain the dwells within her. And Nyra just keeps letting them antagonize her. That’s what bothered her…

“Why do you care?”

She snapped not caring to turn to face him, while shoving her hands in her pockets as the cool air blew. Weaving, dancing and twisting trough her hair as it pick up some strands to join in the waltz.

“Do you come to mock me like all the others? Perhaps you come to pick on me till I give you all my lunch money? Whatever it is I really don’t care or have no quarrel to whatever business you have.”

Closing her eyes, she waited for his reply. Nyra knew he was trying to nice, concerned about her like most would, trying to get on her good side, wanting to know what was really bugging her.

~How kind…but it’s not wanted here…~

She thought finally turning around to face the stranger who disturbed her.

[John Smith]

Ahh, she was hostile. Angry because she wanted to be left alone and have her misery stab at her heart in solitude. She was hiding, like I was hiding from the world. A world that would kill me the instant it knew I was Kvist, the boy who lived. And not in the Harry Potter style. No, the boy who was brought back from the brink of death and had survived whatever hell had thrown at him. If anyone was stubborn, it was me. And that was why I didn't shy away when Nyra tried to make me leave. I had seen and felt worse than what she could ever do to me. So, I did the, probably, unwise action and stayed put while she threw her fit at me.

"You quite done?" Not waiting for an answer I continued - "I had no intention to come up here and listen to a girl throw a fit at me for being nice. I don't know who is mocking you, nor do I know why they would. But instead of biting the hand trying to help you, try grabbing it and get out of the hole!" I said with a harsh voice and stare at the girl. I was not backing out of this. I would throw my own improvised fit at her. I knew I should probably have gone with the textbook answer of: "Because a pretty girl like you, shouldn't be sad...." it made me sick when sly people spoke like that. I had probably once or twice in the past used that sentence and I felt pretty sick about that.

[OOC: Sorry, short.]

[Nyra]

(ooc: don't worry, mines short too.)

He was sarcastic with a bit of wit and truth hidden behind his crude answer. He was stubborn, like her. However the response which he giving her, told her he wasn’t leaving even if she fought him and Nyra admired that. At least he didn’t start out with a crappy sly response like: “Beautiful girls shouldn’t cry…” or something like that.

“Concerned about my well-being like most? I know your trying to be nice but, I get sick of people asking me if I’m alright…All I want is to be left alone. Is that so hard to ask for solitude?”

She said turning back around. She didn’t want to stare into those eyes any longer they frighten her. Piercing into hers as if he was trying to read her mind, too know what she feared the most, too know what angered her, as if he was feeding off her negative energy. Making him stronger and her more variable.

“Just a girl having a tantrum…that‘s all.”

[John Smith]

"Well..."

I said as I walked up beside her. Her casual beauty as I remembered it. She wasn't drop dead gorgeous, but she was definitely not at the beat with an ugly stick end. I did not notice what she was looking at, for I kept my eyes on the school grounds below. There were people down there who had families, who had a lot of friends... Who had people they trusted in their life... I sort of envied them. Envied them that they had the capability to actually put their lives into the hands of other people. I had once been able to do that, but I had as the years passed by learned that only fear kept people in place. Only mind-numbing fear kept people from attacking you. It was only later that I begun to enjoy what I did.

"I once gave a girl the courtesy of leaving her alone when she asked me to..."

I paused. It was a dramatic pause, but it would fit in as an emotional pause as I gulped at the same time. My face had gone from the former harsh face to a bit more, troubled one. But I still didn't look at Nyra, I kept my gaze forward. Looking at the city's skyline.

"... it happened on a roof similar to this. That was the last time I saw her alive. So, don’t even think I am going to leave you alone until you’ve given me a good reason…”

She’s not suicidal, she’s just angry… Big difference.

I glanced over at her, to see if my little speech had had any effect.

[Nyra]

“Believe I‘m suicidal? Think I‘m capable enough to degrade myself to such drastic measures? I don‘t believe this fall would be able to kill me, let alone morally wound me, maybe if I were to plunge head first that ought to do the trick.”

Nyra answered taking a step forward to the edge, looking straight down to the steps which led into the High school. To be blunt Nyra was…expecting this total strange to say: “Well, lets find out” then shove her off the roof when he glanced at her. To her utterly disappointment he didn’t somehow the thought still embraced her. She sighed took a step back and looked back up at the smog filled city skyline.

“Suicide is the act of terminating one's own life. For any reason such as depression, shame, guilt, desperation, pressure, anxiety, financial difficulties, or other undesirable situations. Other words, an easy way out to not deal with what the real world dishes out.”

Nyra explained giving him a quick definition still looking ahead.

“The thought did accrued to me once upon a time. However I’m was too chicken to even do it. Afraid to pull the trigger, or push away the chair underneath me. I guess I didn’t want people to remember me as “the girl who couldn’t deal with her problems.” Childish, I know. But thinking back to what you said about giving you a reason…I just wanted time to think, cool off. Release anger by screaming, shouting and cursing the name of someone…”

She trailed off, wrapping her arms around herself as the cool air picked up again. Brown eyes looked down at the school bag, mind began to wonder and when his name popped back into her head. Anger began to fester with her. Nyra closed her eyes, inhaling the cool, polluted air before exhaling she looked at him with a smile on her lips.

“Sorry, where are my manners, I’m Nyra.”

[John Smith]

I didn’t know that Nyra had considered suicide in the past, perhaps that is why it had worked when I had told her about a semi fictional girl from my past. She had opened up to me and she almost told me who it was that was to blame. I was slowly coming to realize that this was just a simple case of love being thrown at someone who didn’t care. I was not really familiar with those emotions, so I couldn’t relate to how it felt, nor did I have any desire to relate to her feelings. I was a sly manipulative bastard… And better yet. I was damned proud of it. I stopped looking at the casual beauty and returned my gaze to the skyline. Allowing her to talk without me interupting her. I would probably get to talk soon. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that she was looking at me. I turned my head and looked back at her, watching how she hugged herself as she introduced herself.

”A pleasure meeting you Nyra, I’m John.”

I said and put my right hand on her left. Some people would shy away from such a touch from a stranger, so it was a bit of a test.

”Try screaming. Let’s see if it works.” I said with a minor smile on my lips. ”If it doesn’t, then you can tell me what happened. Perhaps I can help.”