Post by Kei on Mar 11, 2007 10:12:04 GMT 1
"English 10H. Essay. Topic of choice. No restrictions.
When It's Never Enough. By Keisuke Varial.
Hi. My name is Keisuke Varial, but everyone I know or don't know, addresses me by Kei. I'm currently a Sophomore in High school, and am trying to organize my mind into one sole ticket to perfect life. That's right, perfection. These days, everyone seems to be confused, afraid, determined, and hypocritical, fearing the future and what might become of their own. I mean, I'm still a kid, eating away my time in High school only to end up suffering in the 'Real World.' My grades are dropping, my ex-girlfriend just had a baby, and I'm unfortunately still trying to find out why I'm afraid to do what I know I should do. I know my regrets before I do something that causes them... but then... wouldn't that mean that because I'm not doing that 'thing' at the moment its still ruining my chance at being at ease with myself? Oh, how life is.
You know how everyone says to not grow up? Stay a kid as long as you can? Why? I mean. Ever since I was in 5th grade I learned to appreciate my time as a kid, and hated the thought of leaving my ten-year stay in Catholic school. I never wanted to leave my friends, and I thought my mind and maturity will never change and improve because I had info on absolutely everything. Unfortunately. I was wrong. I needed more. I grew to understand the feeling of love. I grew to understand the feeling of death. Pain. Sadness. Accomplishment. Anger. Ambition. Bliss. Growing up... I had the greatest experience anyone can ever have. My older brother made my life hard, and easy at the same time. I pretty much owe everything to him. He raised me knowing kids his age (he was four years older than me), and thus I always knew people of all ages going up each grade in school. I was the center of attention, and my partner-in-crime was my 'brother-cousin', Aaron. We did everything together since we were babies. My birthday's even a month after his. Man... did I live. I never thought about how soon a future could be forged... and the fact that destiny, indeed exists. I fucked up, sir... I really did."
Keisuke was walking home from Hircine Highschool, talking to his brother's teachers. Still getting familiar with the layout of the town. Borrowing his younger brother's 2007 Subaru STi, he drove the four cylinder along the scenic routes of his new home, wanting to have the nostalgic feeling of driving this car and delving into the wonder that was nature. Going through routes along the beach, he at times felt the need to push on the throttle, only when other cars weren't present- he loved hearing the sound of the car's Blow-off valve. It was a sort of reminder to his roots back home. Besides, the weather was perfect; semi-warm winds flowing through the downed windows of his car, clouds flowing idly by in the sky, and the sound of trees rustling by his side. What else does San Francisco have to offer?
The final chapter of Kei's innocence.
"To be honest, I started to hate this place, started to hate my life, started to hate everyone around me. I was living in monotony. How can anyone really do that you know? Or, was it my fault for being alone almost every single day? I had a lot of friends, you know I do, Mister. But, it's just that I really don't care about talking to them outside of school. I have their phone numbers, and their screen names, but, my classmates... they're just there you know? Maybe it's because I like being by myself... but I'm starting to loathe it. I like company, I like the feeling of happiness, and, I like what friends my age have to say... in most cases. I remember earlier in the year I've considered dropping out of school, because I hate working. But then, I've dismissed it because it was what it was- just a shallow desire. I would never do it. I'd kill my future. Besides... it'd keep me from making my dream a reality- becoming president of the United States of America."
Going up some elevated roads, he parked his brother's vehicle in an empty lot along some woods. He was nervous. He even stalled his car while finding the perfect place to park the car. What does such a place mean to him? Well, back in Varron Academy... the 'resident' area around the school was a forest surrounding a decent side of the institution. This big place was home to everyone... all the students... the runaways, the dreamers, the fighters, the villains, the heroes, the nobodies, and the everybodies. A lot of people had emotional times in that place. Kei has even cried on more than one occassion. These kids trained so hard to fight even better, when it was only a Highschool. What did these youths have to gain? Protection? The school was a dangerous place... but because they didn't abandon those feelings, it ended up being an everyday war of absolute fear. They didnt have to fight... Keisuke knew that... and now he wanted to repent.
On to the forest.
"As you know. I'm someone who people know as humble, kind, funny, charming, rude, impolite, ambitious, angry, stoic, and quiet. There aren't enough people in this school. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone settles for something that no one will ever find anywhere; a Collection of Conformity. Everyone is the same by being different. Everyone's accepting. All races. We're all minorities, thus becoming the majority in town, or can maybe be seen as a symbol to this country. This town is small... it's holding me back. I can't stay here any longer. I need to go to a school with a better soccer team, stronger and smarter people... a more popular school. I need more."
Passing by enormous trees, he looked on with interest toward the farthest corners of the forest. Every piece of bark he passed, he felt. They weren't destroyed. Not by humans anyways. These were actually safe long enough to merely weather, and erode. No one seemed to take a punch, or a kick at it. He was sorry... he really was. He was responsible in taking life of a specimen that enables us to breathe. Why did he do these things in Varron? Why did any of them? Was it really worth it...? He kept walking... finding rocks, and logs every few meters of travel. Keisuke found a patch of grass and clear ground with no rocks or logs. Just like the perfect 'ring' he found to fight his best friend and hero of Varron, Tim. He sat down on the bed of roots that nailed a tree to the ground, laying down with his back against the tree. The wind felt nice... he was praying.
It was his older brother.
"I'm going to a new school in the beginning of my Junior year. It's here in New York. You might of seen it in the papers, it's called Varron Academy. I can be challenged there. I can be happy. I can be different, and live with no regrets. Aren't those the means to being perfect? Success? I believe so.. and I think you should as well, mister. When it's never enough... you have to take a stand and consider your options. All that's been going on is me being held back. No more.."
This was it. He was happy. He felt rejuvenated. Just like a human being should be. Bliss... this was it. Keisuke reached "nirvana." He now understood what the teachings of his Serenity really lied upon. It was self-enlightenment. He's finally grown up.
He's perfect.
"But wait... 'When it's never enough...' isn't that a contradiction? Never means it can't happen, it won't happen. But using 'when'... it's saying that its only instances at a time. That means its on and off.. like a rain storm, or homework or tv show. So then... all I've complained about... all I've contemplated about... was I just selfish? Was there really a way for me to escape... to grow up? Maybe this is finally it. I'm learning how to live.
It's actually enough, brother."
OOC: Yeah. I really hoping for anyone to reply. I know it's long. But, trust me. It's not like my RPing is gonna look like this. It's only an intro post. To describe Kei's influence and mood for the current situation. Hehe.
When It's Never Enough. By Keisuke Varial.
Hi. My name is Keisuke Varial, but everyone I know or don't know, addresses me by Kei. I'm currently a Sophomore in High school, and am trying to organize my mind into one sole ticket to perfect life. That's right, perfection. These days, everyone seems to be confused, afraid, determined, and hypocritical, fearing the future and what might become of their own. I mean, I'm still a kid, eating away my time in High school only to end up suffering in the 'Real World.' My grades are dropping, my ex-girlfriend just had a baby, and I'm unfortunately still trying to find out why I'm afraid to do what I know I should do. I know my regrets before I do something that causes them... but then... wouldn't that mean that because I'm not doing that 'thing' at the moment its still ruining my chance at being at ease with myself? Oh, how life is.
You know how everyone says to not grow up? Stay a kid as long as you can? Why? I mean. Ever since I was in 5th grade I learned to appreciate my time as a kid, and hated the thought of leaving my ten-year stay in Catholic school. I never wanted to leave my friends, and I thought my mind and maturity will never change and improve because I had info on absolutely everything. Unfortunately. I was wrong. I needed more. I grew to understand the feeling of love. I grew to understand the feeling of death. Pain. Sadness. Accomplishment. Anger. Ambition. Bliss. Growing up... I had the greatest experience anyone can ever have. My older brother made my life hard, and easy at the same time. I pretty much owe everything to him. He raised me knowing kids his age (he was four years older than me), and thus I always knew people of all ages going up each grade in school. I was the center of attention, and my partner-in-crime was my 'brother-cousin', Aaron. We did everything together since we were babies. My birthday's even a month after his. Man... did I live. I never thought about how soon a future could be forged... and the fact that destiny, indeed exists. I fucked up, sir... I really did."
Keisuke was walking home from Hircine Highschool, talking to his brother's teachers. Still getting familiar with the layout of the town. Borrowing his younger brother's 2007 Subaru STi, he drove the four cylinder along the scenic routes of his new home, wanting to have the nostalgic feeling of driving this car and delving into the wonder that was nature. Going through routes along the beach, he at times felt the need to push on the throttle, only when other cars weren't present- he loved hearing the sound of the car's Blow-off valve. It was a sort of reminder to his roots back home. Besides, the weather was perfect; semi-warm winds flowing through the downed windows of his car, clouds flowing idly by in the sky, and the sound of trees rustling by his side. What else does San Francisco have to offer?
The final chapter of Kei's innocence.
"To be honest, I started to hate this place, started to hate my life, started to hate everyone around me. I was living in monotony. How can anyone really do that you know? Or, was it my fault for being alone almost every single day? I had a lot of friends, you know I do, Mister. But, it's just that I really don't care about talking to them outside of school. I have their phone numbers, and their screen names, but, my classmates... they're just there you know? Maybe it's because I like being by myself... but I'm starting to loathe it. I like company, I like the feeling of happiness, and, I like what friends my age have to say... in most cases. I remember earlier in the year I've considered dropping out of school, because I hate working. But then, I've dismissed it because it was what it was- just a shallow desire. I would never do it. I'd kill my future. Besides... it'd keep me from making my dream a reality- becoming president of the United States of America."
Going up some elevated roads, he parked his brother's vehicle in an empty lot along some woods. He was nervous. He even stalled his car while finding the perfect place to park the car. What does such a place mean to him? Well, back in Varron Academy... the 'resident' area around the school was a forest surrounding a decent side of the institution. This big place was home to everyone... all the students... the runaways, the dreamers, the fighters, the villains, the heroes, the nobodies, and the everybodies. A lot of people had emotional times in that place. Kei has even cried on more than one occassion. These kids trained so hard to fight even better, when it was only a Highschool. What did these youths have to gain? Protection? The school was a dangerous place... but because they didn't abandon those feelings, it ended up being an everyday war of absolute fear. They didnt have to fight... Keisuke knew that... and now he wanted to repent.
On to the forest.
"As you know. I'm someone who people know as humble, kind, funny, charming, rude, impolite, ambitious, angry, stoic, and quiet. There aren't enough people in this school. Everyone knows everyone. Everyone settles for something that no one will ever find anywhere; a Collection of Conformity. Everyone is the same by being different. Everyone's accepting. All races. We're all minorities, thus becoming the majority in town, or can maybe be seen as a symbol to this country. This town is small... it's holding me back. I can't stay here any longer. I need to go to a school with a better soccer team, stronger and smarter people... a more popular school. I need more."
Passing by enormous trees, he looked on with interest toward the farthest corners of the forest. Every piece of bark he passed, he felt. They weren't destroyed. Not by humans anyways. These were actually safe long enough to merely weather, and erode. No one seemed to take a punch, or a kick at it. He was sorry... he really was. He was responsible in taking life of a specimen that enables us to breathe. Why did he do these things in Varron? Why did any of them? Was it really worth it...? He kept walking... finding rocks, and logs every few meters of travel. Keisuke found a patch of grass and clear ground with no rocks or logs. Just like the perfect 'ring' he found to fight his best friend and hero of Varron, Tim. He sat down on the bed of roots that nailed a tree to the ground, laying down with his back against the tree. The wind felt nice... he was praying.
It was his older brother.
"I'm going to a new school in the beginning of my Junior year. It's here in New York. You might of seen it in the papers, it's called Varron Academy. I can be challenged there. I can be happy. I can be different, and live with no regrets. Aren't those the means to being perfect? Success? I believe so.. and I think you should as well, mister. When it's never enough... you have to take a stand and consider your options. All that's been going on is me being held back. No more.."
This was it. He was happy. He felt rejuvenated. Just like a human being should be. Bliss... this was it. Keisuke reached "nirvana." He now understood what the teachings of his Serenity really lied upon. It was self-enlightenment. He's finally grown up.
He's perfect.
"But wait... 'When it's never enough...' isn't that a contradiction? Never means it can't happen, it won't happen. But using 'when'... it's saying that its only instances at a time. That means its on and off.. like a rain storm, or homework or tv show. So then... all I've complained about... all I've contemplated about... was I just selfish? Was there really a way for me to escape... to grow up? Maybe this is finally it. I'm learning how to live.
It's actually enough, brother."
OOC: Yeah. I really hoping for anyone to reply. I know it's long. But, trust me. It's not like my RPing is gonna look like this. It's only an intro post. To describe Kei's influence and mood for the current situation. Hehe.
