Post by rougestar21 on Aug 12, 2007 5:09:58 GMT 1
I'm working on a novel, and I'd like some feedback on the pitch for it from anyone;
BTW, This would look so much cooler as a movie trailer, the way I have it pictured.
I never really knew a peace in my life... no one has; not since the Great Tragedy... On that day, one hundred years ago, humankind lost all hope of survival when all the world's great religious leaders vanished; no one had anything to turn to... the world plunged into war. All sides seemed equally matched, and equally devoted to war; it was a stalemate.
That is, untill the Synth-Angels appeared.
What if the song of humanity was played through the whisper of a machine?
They were like normal humans, but there was somthing wrong... they were part-machines. They were a force of bionic soldiers, with an unknown motive and unknown technology. Over the next thirty years, they tore apart armies, toppled governements, and defeated all who stood against them; they were reffered to as demons, the army of the devil, or worse... Regardless, they did end the war, and save the rest of us from ourselves.
But after fter the war, they all simply vanished. No one knew why, and everyone assumed that they were gone for good. That lasted twenty years, during which humans struggled to rebuild their civilizations.
Then one day, the Synth-Angels returned, but they were not the same warriors from the war... they were brutal, unorganized, and arrogant; we humans didn't feel it fit to associate these new arrivals with the warriors that had fought them before... This new group was deemed the Synth-Outlaws. The Outlaws took power from wherever they saw fit, causing trouble and reaking havoc wherever they roamed...
"But what can I do about it?" Bryan asked.
"Everything, everything under the sun can be accomplished by mortal hands." Kyle replied.
This is the story of Bryan Higdon, a teenager thrust into the middle of an urban war...
"We are the Alliance," Kyle eagerly answered Bryan, "and we have one goal; to protect these people from the Outlaws with our own bionic limbs."
Equipped with a weapon of unimaginable power, chosen from destiny...
"His metabolism isn't increasing..." Dr. Blackburn whispered, " The arm.... It's integrating perfectly without any abnormalites at all!"
To fight an evil that no one really understands...
"This serum... I can't figure out why the boss wants it so badly..."
"And he wants it badly enough to kill all of us if we fail."
This is no longer a war against humans, but against God and the Devil alike...
The lines are drawn...
The sides are picked, between humans, demons, and angels...
Humanity is in the balance...
"Why are we fighting against Angels?!" Bryan cried out frantically.
"It's our duty to protect our species... not to ask why." Kyle answered grimly, putting his hand on Bryan's shoulder.
"Brace yourself men... If we fall, all of the world falls with us." Hawk called out.
[shadow=red,left,300]Digital Divinity
Coming eventually.[/shadow]
BTW, This would look so much cooler as a movie trailer, the way I have it pictured.
I never really knew a peace in my life... no one has; not since the Great Tragedy... On that day, one hundred years ago, humankind lost all hope of survival when all the world's great religious leaders vanished; no one had anything to turn to... the world plunged into war. All sides seemed equally matched, and equally devoted to war; it was a stalemate.
That is, untill the Synth-Angels appeared.
What if the song of humanity was played through the whisper of a machine?
They were like normal humans, but there was somthing wrong... they were part-machines. They were a force of bionic soldiers, with an unknown motive and unknown technology. Over the next thirty years, they tore apart armies, toppled governements, and defeated all who stood against them; they were reffered to as demons, the army of the devil, or worse... Regardless, they did end the war, and save the rest of us from ourselves.
But after fter the war, they all simply vanished. No one knew why, and everyone assumed that they were gone for good. That lasted twenty years, during which humans struggled to rebuild their civilizations.
Then one day, the Synth-Angels returned, but they were not the same warriors from the war... they were brutal, unorganized, and arrogant; we humans didn't feel it fit to associate these new arrivals with the warriors that had fought them before... This new group was deemed the Synth-Outlaws. The Outlaws took power from wherever they saw fit, causing trouble and reaking havoc wherever they roamed...
"But what can I do about it?" Bryan asked.
"Everything, everything under the sun can be accomplished by mortal hands." Kyle replied.
This is the story of Bryan Higdon, a teenager thrust into the middle of an urban war...
"We are the Alliance," Kyle eagerly answered Bryan, "and we have one goal; to protect these people from the Outlaws with our own bionic limbs."
Equipped with a weapon of unimaginable power, chosen from destiny...
"His metabolism isn't increasing..." Dr. Blackburn whispered, " The arm.... It's integrating perfectly without any abnormalites at all!"
To fight an evil that no one really understands...
"This serum... I can't figure out why the boss wants it so badly..."
"And he wants it badly enough to kill all of us if we fail."
This is no longer a war against humans, but against God and the Devil alike...
The lines are drawn...
The sides are picked, between humans, demons, and angels...
Humanity is in the balance...
"Why are we fighting against Angels?!" Bryan cried out frantically.
"It's our duty to protect our species... not to ask why." Kyle answered grimly, putting his hand on Bryan's shoulder.
"Brace yourself men... If we fall, all of the world falls with us." Hawk called out.
[shadow=red,left,300]Digital Divinity
Coming eventually.[/shadow]