Post by Victoria Alexander on Apr 3, 2008 21:09:36 GMT 1
Blue had indeed forewarned Victoria of Tak’s presence in the city. Blue had given her 24 hours to get her words together before setting up a meeting at his current residence. He wanted mutual ground so his place would be better than public if things should get out of hand. Victoria told him she didn’t care but he insisted it would be better that way.
Holding the small piece of paper in her hand she had gotten a taxi for half the trip and decided to walk the rest to calm the jitters that she felt. She took in the air with a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she put one foot in front of the other. Victoria didn’t know what to expect and frankly at this point knew that she had something to say to Tak and if she had to, she would pound it into his thick head.
Stopping at a crosswalk she thanked herself for making the trip to the mall. No longer did she look ragged, malnourished and homeless. She sported a pair of wide leg jeans, a long sleeved hoodie and her boots. Her hair cut did wonders for it was away from her face and wild as can be, giving her “old” appearance back. She didn’t worry about makeup only a little gel for her hair. She smelled like shampoo and body wash which even for her made her take in the scent and smile lightly. She was never one for perfume so the soft scent of her vanilla body wash made her feel rather feminine.
Turning down the street, Blue’s address was shoved into her pocket, she read in her mind the numbers on the doorways. One after the other, the small doorways would lead to multiple apartments. She wasn’t sure which apartment Blue was in but surely it wouldn’t take her long to find it.
Stepping onto the steps of the desired doorway she followed the stairs to the second level before coming upon a rigid wooden door with the address she was seeking. She reached her arm out, hesitated before knocking her knuckles against the grainy wood. She barely had a second chance to rap at the door before it swung open and Blue stood in the door way.
“Victoria come on in, Tak just went out for a second but Im sure he’ll be here any second.”
He smiled widely trying to ease Victoria off the nervousness that she apparently showed. It had been a year since she seen Tak. It was hard to try and just pick up where she left off. She couldn’t do that and Tak tried to push her into doing it. She had to make him see that she had to do this for the simple fact that she needed to. Not for him or anyone but for herself only. It was more of a self discovery if she were to look at it in a different light. But in the end she was not going to back down and let him make the decision for her.
Before she could even look around at the rather bare apartment she heard what sounded like a stampede coming from the doorway. No doubt someone rushing up the stairs. As she turned her eyes met with her past. With the door swung open Taks frame filled the doorway. She never remembered him being so large, but in retrospect at that moment Victoria felt so small. His eyes were set on her, more so searching her face for something Victoria wasn’t sure of. His chest was rising and falling at a quickened pace as if he had just got done sprinting a marathon. He was just as she remembered him. His auburn hair was a bit overgrown along with the extended patch of dyed blue hair that laid restless on his fully formed face. How much he seemed to hate change.
Before she could say or do anything he rushed on her. Scooping her up in his arms, holding her saying how much he had missed her, how worried he was for her. How he couldn’t bare it if she were to leave him again. But Victoria stood firm her arms still at her sides, her eyes towards the floor. She could not celebrate with her old friend for their reunion.
Tak could feel how unresponsive she was and Victoria just looked at him as he pulled back from her. She cleared her voice.
“Hello Tak.”
Her voice did not waver or flutter like the butterflies that swept through her stomach. It was strong and to the point as if she was greeting some else and not her oldest and dearest friend. Tak could tell that things changed and Victoria hoped that he could understand where she was at.
Blue seemed to excuse himself as he went into another room. Tak and Victoria just stood there, silent, still. The air seemed thick and unmoving. It was as if they were at a stalemate. Before the silence could become deafening, Tak spoke up. His voice smooth.
“Victoria. How have you been.”
He cleared his throat catching himself as he tried to reach out for her.
“I mean have you been well. I haven’t been able to call you, you never pick up your phone.”
Victoria looked towards the room where Blue had retreated to. She didn’t know if she could make eye contact with Tak.
“Things have been going ok.”
Her short answer seemed to not be enough for Tak. He seemed fidgety as if he wanted to get so much off his chest at that one moment but didn’t know how. Victoria seemed to sense it and put her hand up catching him as he seemed as if he was going to speak.
“Please listen and don’t say anything until Im finished.”
He barely nodded as both stood in the middle of the bare room. The tv flickering on a show that seemed to go forgotten. Victoria crossed her arms and put her weight on one side. She didn’t know how to begin but she had to get this out.
“Look. I am not going to let anyone walk over me or tell me what to do, Im not a child and Im sick of being treated like one. Just because I was sick at one point in my life does not mean I cant take care of myself. Its in the past, its over, its done. I can hold my own and I don’t need you or anyone watching over me like Im some helpless person. Im sick of feeling that I can’t sneeze without a crowd of people asking me if Im okay.”
Her face was flushed in anger, her hands clenching and unclenching as they remain folded. Her voice was sharp and to the point, her eyes were on the floor at his feet. All in all she was not a happy person.
“I appreciate what you guys did for me but I can’t stand it when you guys hoover over me. I got away to save my sanity. Can’t you understand that I can not be smothered. I hate when you try to hold my hand. When you try to do what’s best for me Tak. You DON’T know what’s best for me. I know what’s best for me. I know how I feel and how Im going to take it day by day. I just proved to you that I can be on my own without fail for the past two years. I fought and both won and lost. I picked myself up and grudged through on my own. I needed to do that for myself. To prove that I am still Victoria Rose Alexander, the orphan who kicked ass and took names. That I am a woman most of all, that I am not a child that needs to hold someone else’s hand to be led around.
No matter how many times you call, no matter how many states you cross to find me. You can not make me go back to how things were. You can not worry about me as if I was some fragile porcelain doll. I am strong. I am fast and I am smart. Im not as breakable as you may think as what the doctors have thought. I moved past my cancer, past losing my own child to become stronger.
I am driven to become strong to think for myself to restore in myself the confidence that I need to make it through life. I need to have support but I don’t need you to hold my hand. Do you understand what Im saying. Can you truly stand there and say to me that you will treat me as none of those bad things ever happened. That you will treat me as if I am your equal and not as a child.”
She looked at him no longer angry but with a pleading look.
“I need a friend not a parent. I need you to tell me that you will be by my side without concern for my well fair each time I decide to do something risky. Can you do that?”
Victoria watched as if Tak had just been beaten. His face sullen as his eyes searched her face. His mouth opening only slightly as if to make the words escape but Victoria could tell he was holding his breath, not sure of what to say.
Victoria turned away from him, disappointed that he could not see, or not agree with what she was asking. It wasn’t much. Her eyes swelled with fat tears that clouded her vision. She tried to focus on the bare window. Looking out into the bright skies, blinking back her tears.
“Victoria please.”
Tak seemed to plead, she could hear his boots thump on the floor, she knew he was standing behind her. His hand now resting on her shoulder. She was unsure whether she could brush it off but instead kept her focus on the window.
“Victoria, I know I made the mistake. Its just hard to see what I have seen and to expect you to understand how I feel about it. I can’t help but worry about you.”
“But you have no need to worry, Tak I can take care of myself.”
She moved her shoulder, his hand falling away from her. She took steps closer to the window, uncrossing her arms and putting them on the cool window pane. She looked down at the street below. Couldn’t he see how much this hurt her.
“Vic please. Im sorry that I chased you away. That I made you feel like that. If it wasn’t for Varron we would be fine. We would..”
“No! We wouldn’t have Tak. Nothing in Varron could have changed what happened. The cancer did not show because of Varron. It was there the whole time and we both know that. Do not blame Varron or anyone else. What happened was bound to happen whether we wanted it to or not.”
Her hands went into fists, her nails digging into her flesh as she tried hard as hell not to cry. How could he blame Varron for this? If anything Varron had saved her. If it weren’t for the fighting, the stress, she may not have gotten so weak. She may have never known that her body was in trouble. If it wasn’t for Varron she wouldn’t have had a chance to be a mother for only a small period of time. To share in the joys of love, to know that she was loved for a while. Something she never had before Varron. Tak was wrong Varron had saved her.
Looking into the reflection of the glass she could see Tak’s outline. His head drawn to the floor. She could tell by his body that he was ashamed. She turned on her heels. Facing him. Victoria reached up her hand and cupped his cheek. He was warm to the touch as his hand came up to hold hers there before she could remove it.
“Tak Please understand this. I need you here not to worry me, not to protect me. But to support me. To know that our friendship will always be here when I need it the most. So I can turn to the one person in this world that knows me so well. That needs me just as much as I need you. I am your sister, I am your friend. Please know that I will always appreciate what you did for me back in Varron. But I can’t have you protecting me so close that I am no more than a prisoner.”
She stepped closer to him, mere inches away. Tak put his head down, their foreheads touching, her hand still on his cheek. She could feel each breath hit her face.
“Please let me be beside you and not behind you. You can not protect me forever. I am wild, I need to be free. Can you do that for me my friend?”
She could feel his body start to quiver as he tried to fight back his own emotions. Victoria put her arms around him as pulling him to the poor looking couch that was near. Sitting beside him she stroked his back
“Please answer me Tak. I need to know.”
She could hear him draw in a breath, clear his throat and looked right at her, at any moment even Tak could break into tears. Victoria knew that if he did, there was no stopping her from following.
“I can do that Victoria.”
“Good, that’s good, that’s all I want.”
She said happily as she wrapped her arms around her friend, his own holding her tightly. She put her chin on the nape of his neck. Squeezing him. This is what she needed. She needed him to stop treating her as if she were handicapped. She was no longer weak or stricken with her cancer. She was strong and she now wasn’t so alone.
“So does this mean your coming back to New York?”
He asked in a questioning tone. When Victoria did not respond quickly or at all he let go and moved back to look at her.
“Victoria you’re not going to stay are you?”
She looked towards the floor.
“Tak Varron students are here. They have had a hard time with the new school. The school has not treated them fairly and things that should have been dealt with have not been addressed. I have to do something for them. Kazuki said...”
Tak sprung from the couch as if just struck by lightning. Victoria couldn’t even finish before she knew she had said the wrong thing.
“Kazuki!”
His voice was loud and outraged.
“He’s here! I know why you’re here now, Victoria. Don’t fool me with the notion of Varron students. How much are you going to have to sacrifice for HIM. How much are you going to let go this time.”
“Tak calm down. Kazuki is not the reason why I am here please call down.”
His anger was more apparent. She knew he had a dislike for Kazuki even after what has all been done but he must understand that she was not going to crawl back to Kazuki. Tak tried to make his way out of the apartment. He looked dangerous and as if on cue Blue appeared in time to block the door.
“Listen to what she says Theo.”
He said sternly. His arms ready to put Tak in a hold if he were to get out of control. Tak knew he was no match for his brother but his anger and his rage put him another peg up. He didn’t want to hurt his own brother just to get out of there. His feelings of betrayal from her seemed to fuel his anger. That she could go to Kazuki after so much trouble he had caused her.
“Get out of my way Blue!”
Victoria was now on her feet, she tried to grab his arm but in his rage he flung back, hitting his wrist against her cheek as he tried to get Blue from the door. He didn’t glance back, not when Victoria was sent to the couch with the blow. Blue wrestled with him, tripping him and pinning him on the floor. His arms locking his behind him. Tak tried to fight him off.
“Look at yourself brother. You can’t even listen to her through your own jealousy. Look at what you did. Look!”
Victoria held her cheek, tears rimming her eyes, her lip split from the mere force of the accidental hit. Tak’s eyes seemed to go flat as he quit fighting and just laid limply on the floor.
“Now you will listen and I will hold you down until you hear the full story.”
With Tak’s cheek pressed on the floor Victoria continued on with what she was saying but before she could continue she had to make Tak know that things between her and Kazuki were done.
“I didn’t know Kazuki was here when I got here Tak you have to believe me when I say that. I happened to go to a club and he just happened to be there. You have to know that nothing is between us. Its over and I must not have you go after him. If anything he told me what was going on with the school.”
She paused she hated seeing him like that.
“Blue please let him up.”
Blue did as he was told and warned Tak that if he was going to get carried away again Blue was going to put him down. Tak moved to Victoria’s feet but dared not touch her. She could see his sorrowful expression for what he has done.
“I learned that the school is in worse shape. Hircine students are going against the Varron students. There is some sort of war going on between them and even though it has calmed there is still malice. People are getting hurt because they want to be territorial.
Now I can understand why they would put up the fight since I learned that Stern Mason had pulled a stunt, but it seems that the school will do nothing to control Hircine students. There is a group called “Watchers” but they are more or less over using their power and instead of protecting students they are controlling them.”
She looked towards the window.
“I was told that the students could hold their own. But I can’t stand by helplessly while they try to do it. I’ve only ran into a few students. Things seem to be fine but I don’t want to leave and then find out something horrible had happened. Now I know you may think me selfish but this is what I want to do. I don’t know how Im going to do it but Im going to at least try.
I lost a lot when I was at Varron. But I want to gain something from here. I want to put my life back together piece by piece and make myself whole again. You know better than anyone how much pain I went through. Not only for myself but for my unborn child. I know you hated my choices, that you hated that I did get pregnant but the past wont change. The past will never change and we must deal with it as much as we can.
Yes I loved Kazuki Shanto, but that is the past. He is no longer part of my future and if he is, he is no more than an acquaintance, a friend. Nothing that can put anymore hardships on my heart. Please take it to heart Tak. Please know that he is no longer part of my personal life any longer. We both have moved on and now, now I need you to move on. I need you to trust me. Trust me to know that what Im doing is what I want to do. To know that if I hurt myself it is because I wanted it that way. You can not shield me from the world no longer.
My dear Tak, I care too much for you to be tormented by something I did. I am sorry to have hurt you but you shouldn’t latch onto me no longer. And if you need to be by me then so be it. I will welcome you with open arms and let you in. But if you start to latch, if you start to hold me back I will have to let you go. I don’t want to do that.”
Tak finally said a whisper. His words barely heard by her or his brother.
“I don’t want you do go into self destruction. Victoria I love you and I will always love you but I just cant stand by when I know the outcome.”
She put her hand on top of his head and moved it to ruffle his hair.
“Then we shall change the outcome together. Wont we?”
Tak looked up at her, Victoria could feel his finger move over her lip to wipe what blood there was. Her lip feeling puffy.
“Im sorry.”
Victoria smirked and shook her head.
“Don’t be, it wasn’t the first time I’ve been hit. It just caught me by surprise, if I had know it was coming Im sure you would have had the fat lip instead of me.”
She looked up and turned her attention over at Blue who was sitting on the floor his back up against the door.
“You wouldn’t by chance have some ice or something?”
He scrambled to his feet, swapping his hand across the top of Tak’s head.
“You big oaf, you ever hit a lady again and I’ll be giving you two black eyes and a fat lip. Didn’t I ever teach you anything.”
Tak swatted his brothers hand away with a small smile. Victoria laughed at the two. It had been a while since she had seen the two brothers together. She knew that Blue cared deeply for his brother and for her. It seemed almost fitting to feel so comfortable in his home.
Blue returned with an ice pack wrapped in an orange towel and handed it over to Victoria. Victoria took it willingly as she pressed the cold pack on her lip and cheek. It didn’t feel to bad and most likely there would only be a slight discoloration that she could conceal with a good amount of make up.
The three caught up on what has been going on. Blue admitting that he lied to his brother, confessing that his knowledge of Victoria was for her benefit. Things seemed to go smoothly. Victoria wasn’t sure if Tak could keep up with her demands of not being over protective. But there was only one way to find out. Her best friend was back at her side and knowing that he was there for her made her stay in San Francisco a little more welcoming.
Holding the small piece of paper in her hand she had gotten a taxi for half the trip and decided to walk the rest to calm the jitters that she felt. She took in the air with a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she put one foot in front of the other. Victoria didn’t know what to expect and frankly at this point knew that she had something to say to Tak and if she had to, she would pound it into his thick head.
Stopping at a crosswalk she thanked herself for making the trip to the mall. No longer did she look ragged, malnourished and homeless. She sported a pair of wide leg jeans, a long sleeved hoodie and her boots. Her hair cut did wonders for it was away from her face and wild as can be, giving her “old” appearance back. She didn’t worry about makeup only a little gel for her hair. She smelled like shampoo and body wash which even for her made her take in the scent and smile lightly. She was never one for perfume so the soft scent of her vanilla body wash made her feel rather feminine.
Turning down the street, Blue’s address was shoved into her pocket, she read in her mind the numbers on the doorways. One after the other, the small doorways would lead to multiple apartments. She wasn’t sure which apartment Blue was in but surely it wouldn’t take her long to find it.
Stepping onto the steps of the desired doorway she followed the stairs to the second level before coming upon a rigid wooden door with the address she was seeking. She reached her arm out, hesitated before knocking her knuckles against the grainy wood. She barely had a second chance to rap at the door before it swung open and Blue stood in the door way.
“Victoria come on in, Tak just went out for a second but Im sure he’ll be here any second.”
He smiled widely trying to ease Victoria off the nervousness that she apparently showed. It had been a year since she seen Tak. It was hard to try and just pick up where she left off. She couldn’t do that and Tak tried to push her into doing it. She had to make him see that she had to do this for the simple fact that she needed to. Not for him or anyone but for herself only. It was more of a self discovery if she were to look at it in a different light. But in the end she was not going to back down and let him make the decision for her.
Before she could even look around at the rather bare apartment she heard what sounded like a stampede coming from the doorway. No doubt someone rushing up the stairs. As she turned her eyes met with her past. With the door swung open Taks frame filled the doorway. She never remembered him being so large, but in retrospect at that moment Victoria felt so small. His eyes were set on her, more so searching her face for something Victoria wasn’t sure of. His chest was rising and falling at a quickened pace as if he had just got done sprinting a marathon. He was just as she remembered him. His auburn hair was a bit overgrown along with the extended patch of dyed blue hair that laid restless on his fully formed face. How much he seemed to hate change.
Before she could say or do anything he rushed on her. Scooping her up in his arms, holding her saying how much he had missed her, how worried he was for her. How he couldn’t bare it if she were to leave him again. But Victoria stood firm her arms still at her sides, her eyes towards the floor. She could not celebrate with her old friend for their reunion.
Tak could feel how unresponsive she was and Victoria just looked at him as he pulled back from her. She cleared her voice.
“Hello Tak.”
Her voice did not waver or flutter like the butterflies that swept through her stomach. It was strong and to the point as if she was greeting some else and not her oldest and dearest friend. Tak could tell that things changed and Victoria hoped that he could understand where she was at.
Blue seemed to excuse himself as he went into another room. Tak and Victoria just stood there, silent, still. The air seemed thick and unmoving. It was as if they were at a stalemate. Before the silence could become deafening, Tak spoke up. His voice smooth.
“Victoria. How have you been.”
He cleared his throat catching himself as he tried to reach out for her.
“I mean have you been well. I haven’t been able to call you, you never pick up your phone.”
Victoria looked towards the room where Blue had retreated to. She didn’t know if she could make eye contact with Tak.
“Things have been going ok.”
Her short answer seemed to not be enough for Tak. He seemed fidgety as if he wanted to get so much off his chest at that one moment but didn’t know how. Victoria seemed to sense it and put her hand up catching him as he seemed as if he was going to speak.
“Please listen and don’t say anything until Im finished.”
He barely nodded as both stood in the middle of the bare room. The tv flickering on a show that seemed to go forgotten. Victoria crossed her arms and put her weight on one side. She didn’t know how to begin but she had to get this out.
“Look. I am not going to let anyone walk over me or tell me what to do, Im not a child and Im sick of being treated like one. Just because I was sick at one point in my life does not mean I cant take care of myself. Its in the past, its over, its done. I can hold my own and I don’t need you or anyone watching over me like Im some helpless person. Im sick of feeling that I can’t sneeze without a crowd of people asking me if Im okay.”
Her face was flushed in anger, her hands clenching and unclenching as they remain folded. Her voice was sharp and to the point, her eyes were on the floor at his feet. All in all she was not a happy person.
“I appreciate what you guys did for me but I can’t stand it when you guys hoover over me. I got away to save my sanity. Can’t you understand that I can not be smothered. I hate when you try to hold my hand. When you try to do what’s best for me Tak. You DON’T know what’s best for me. I know what’s best for me. I know how I feel and how Im going to take it day by day. I just proved to you that I can be on my own without fail for the past two years. I fought and both won and lost. I picked myself up and grudged through on my own. I needed to do that for myself. To prove that I am still Victoria Rose Alexander, the orphan who kicked ass and took names. That I am a woman most of all, that I am not a child that needs to hold someone else’s hand to be led around.
No matter how many times you call, no matter how many states you cross to find me. You can not make me go back to how things were. You can not worry about me as if I was some fragile porcelain doll. I am strong. I am fast and I am smart. Im not as breakable as you may think as what the doctors have thought. I moved past my cancer, past losing my own child to become stronger.
I am driven to become strong to think for myself to restore in myself the confidence that I need to make it through life. I need to have support but I don’t need you to hold my hand. Do you understand what Im saying. Can you truly stand there and say to me that you will treat me as none of those bad things ever happened. That you will treat me as if I am your equal and not as a child.”
She looked at him no longer angry but with a pleading look.
“I need a friend not a parent. I need you to tell me that you will be by my side without concern for my well fair each time I decide to do something risky. Can you do that?”
Victoria watched as if Tak had just been beaten. His face sullen as his eyes searched her face. His mouth opening only slightly as if to make the words escape but Victoria could tell he was holding his breath, not sure of what to say.
Victoria turned away from him, disappointed that he could not see, or not agree with what she was asking. It wasn’t much. Her eyes swelled with fat tears that clouded her vision. She tried to focus on the bare window. Looking out into the bright skies, blinking back her tears.
“Victoria please.”
Tak seemed to plead, she could hear his boots thump on the floor, she knew he was standing behind her. His hand now resting on her shoulder. She was unsure whether she could brush it off but instead kept her focus on the window.
“Victoria, I know I made the mistake. Its just hard to see what I have seen and to expect you to understand how I feel about it. I can’t help but worry about you.”
“But you have no need to worry, Tak I can take care of myself.”
She moved her shoulder, his hand falling away from her. She took steps closer to the window, uncrossing her arms and putting them on the cool window pane. She looked down at the street below. Couldn’t he see how much this hurt her.
“Vic please. Im sorry that I chased you away. That I made you feel like that. If it wasn’t for Varron we would be fine. We would..”
“No! We wouldn’t have Tak. Nothing in Varron could have changed what happened. The cancer did not show because of Varron. It was there the whole time and we both know that. Do not blame Varron or anyone else. What happened was bound to happen whether we wanted it to or not.”
Her hands went into fists, her nails digging into her flesh as she tried hard as hell not to cry. How could he blame Varron for this? If anything Varron had saved her. If it weren’t for the fighting, the stress, she may not have gotten so weak. She may have never known that her body was in trouble. If it wasn’t for Varron she wouldn’t have had a chance to be a mother for only a small period of time. To share in the joys of love, to know that she was loved for a while. Something she never had before Varron. Tak was wrong Varron had saved her.
Looking into the reflection of the glass she could see Tak’s outline. His head drawn to the floor. She could tell by his body that he was ashamed. She turned on her heels. Facing him. Victoria reached up her hand and cupped his cheek. He was warm to the touch as his hand came up to hold hers there before she could remove it.
“Tak Please understand this. I need you here not to worry me, not to protect me. But to support me. To know that our friendship will always be here when I need it the most. So I can turn to the one person in this world that knows me so well. That needs me just as much as I need you. I am your sister, I am your friend. Please know that I will always appreciate what you did for me back in Varron. But I can’t have you protecting me so close that I am no more than a prisoner.”
She stepped closer to him, mere inches away. Tak put his head down, their foreheads touching, her hand still on his cheek. She could feel each breath hit her face.
“Please let me be beside you and not behind you. You can not protect me forever. I am wild, I need to be free. Can you do that for me my friend?”
She could feel his body start to quiver as he tried to fight back his own emotions. Victoria put her arms around him as pulling him to the poor looking couch that was near. Sitting beside him she stroked his back
“Please answer me Tak. I need to know.”
She could hear him draw in a breath, clear his throat and looked right at her, at any moment even Tak could break into tears. Victoria knew that if he did, there was no stopping her from following.
“I can do that Victoria.”
“Good, that’s good, that’s all I want.”
She said happily as she wrapped her arms around her friend, his own holding her tightly. She put her chin on the nape of his neck. Squeezing him. This is what she needed. She needed him to stop treating her as if she were handicapped. She was no longer weak or stricken with her cancer. She was strong and she now wasn’t so alone.
“So does this mean your coming back to New York?”
He asked in a questioning tone. When Victoria did not respond quickly or at all he let go and moved back to look at her.
“Victoria you’re not going to stay are you?”
She looked towards the floor.
“Tak Varron students are here. They have had a hard time with the new school. The school has not treated them fairly and things that should have been dealt with have not been addressed. I have to do something for them. Kazuki said...”
Tak sprung from the couch as if just struck by lightning. Victoria couldn’t even finish before she knew she had said the wrong thing.
“Kazuki!”
His voice was loud and outraged.
“He’s here! I know why you’re here now, Victoria. Don’t fool me with the notion of Varron students. How much are you going to have to sacrifice for HIM. How much are you going to let go this time.”
“Tak calm down. Kazuki is not the reason why I am here please call down.”
His anger was more apparent. She knew he had a dislike for Kazuki even after what has all been done but he must understand that she was not going to crawl back to Kazuki. Tak tried to make his way out of the apartment. He looked dangerous and as if on cue Blue appeared in time to block the door.
“Listen to what she says Theo.”
He said sternly. His arms ready to put Tak in a hold if he were to get out of control. Tak knew he was no match for his brother but his anger and his rage put him another peg up. He didn’t want to hurt his own brother just to get out of there. His feelings of betrayal from her seemed to fuel his anger. That she could go to Kazuki after so much trouble he had caused her.
“Get out of my way Blue!”
Victoria was now on her feet, she tried to grab his arm but in his rage he flung back, hitting his wrist against her cheek as he tried to get Blue from the door. He didn’t glance back, not when Victoria was sent to the couch with the blow. Blue wrestled with him, tripping him and pinning him on the floor. His arms locking his behind him. Tak tried to fight him off.
“Look at yourself brother. You can’t even listen to her through your own jealousy. Look at what you did. Look!”
Victoria held her cheek, tears rimming her eyes, her lip split from the mere force of the accidental hit. Tak’s eyes seemed to go flat as he quit fighting and just laid limply on the floor.
“Now you will listen and I will hold you down until you hear the full story.”
With Tak’s cheek pressed on the floor Victoria continued on with what she was saying but before she could continue she had to make Tak know that things between her and Kazuki were done.
“I didn’t know Kazuki was here when I got here Tak you have to believe me when I say that. I happened to go to a club and he just happened to be there. You have to know that nothing is between us. Its over and I must not have you go after him. If anything he told me what was going on with the school.”
She paused she hated seeing him like that.
“Blue please let him up.”
Blue did as he was told and warned Tak that if he was going to get carried away again Blue was going to put him down. Tak moved to Victoria’s feet but dared not touch her. She could see his sorrowful expression for what he has done.
“I learned that the school is in worse shape. Hircine students are going against the Varron students. There is some sort of war going on between them and even though it has calmed there is still malice. People are getting hurt because they want to be territorial.
Now I can understand why they would put up the fight since I learned that Stern Mason had pulled a stunt, but it seems that the school will do nothing to control Hircine students. There is a group called “Watchers” but they are more or less over using their power and instead of protecting students they are controlling them.”
She looked towards the window.
“I was told that the students could hold their own. But I can’t stand by helplessly while they try to do it. I’ve only ran into a few students. Things seem to be fine but I don’t want to leave and then find out something horrible had happened. Now I know you may think me selfish but this is what I want to do. I don’t know how Im going to do it but Im going to at least try.
I lost a lot when I was at Varron. But I want to gain something from here. I want to put my life back together piece by piece and make myself whole again. You know better than anyone how much pain I went through. Not only for myself but for my unborn child. I know you hated my choices, that you hated that I did get pregnant but the past wont change. The past will never change and we must deal with it as much as we can.
Yes I loved Kazuki Shanto, but that is the past. He is no longer part of my future and if he is, he is no more than an acquaintance, a friend. Nothing that can put anymore hardships on my heart. Please take it to heart Tak. Please know that he is no longer part of my personal life any longer. We both have moved on and now, now I need you to move on. I need you to trust me. Trust me to know that what Im doing is what I want to do. To know that if I hurt myself it is because I wanted it that way. You can not shield me from the world no longer.
My dear Tak, I care too much for you to be tormented by something I did. I am sorry to have hurt you but you shouldn’t latch onto me no longer. And if you need to be by me then so be it. I will welcome you with open arms and let you in. But if you start to latch, if you start to hold me back I will have to let you go. I don’t want to do that.”
Tak finally said a whisper. His words barely heard by her or his brother.
“I don’t want you do go into self destruction. Victoria I love you and I will always love you but I just cant stand by when I know the outcome.”
She put her hand on top of his head and moved it to ruffle his hair.
“Then we shall change the outcome together. Wont we?”
Tak looked up at her, Victoria could feel his finger move over her lip to wipe what blood there was. Her lip feeling puffy.
“Im sorry.”
Victoria smirked and shook her head.
“Don’t be, it wasn’t the first time I’ve been hit. It just caught me by surprise, if I had know it was coming Im sure you would have had the fat lip instead of me.”
She looked up and turned her attention over at Blue who was sitting on the floor his back up against the door.
“You wouldn’t by chance have some ice or something?”
He scrambled to his feet, swapping his hand across the top of Tak’s head.
“You big oaf, you ever hit a lady again and I’ll be giving you two black eyes and a fat lip. Didn’t I ever teach you anything.”
Tak swatted his brothers hand away with a small smile. Victoria laughed at the two. It had been a while since she had seen the two brothers together. She knew that Blue cared deeply for his brother and for her. It seemed almost fitting to feel so comfortable in his home.
Blue returned with an ice pack wrapped in an orange towel and handed it over to Victoria. Victoria took it willingly as she pressed the cold pack on her lip and cheek. It didn’t feel to bad and most likely there would only be a slight discoloration that she could conceal with a good amount of make up.
The three caught up on what has been going on. Blue admitting that he lied to his brother, confessing that his knowledge of Victoria was for her benefit. Things seemed to go smoothly. Victoria wasn’t sure if Tak could keep up with her demands of not being over protective. But there was only one way to find out. Her best friend was back at her side and knowing that he was there for her made her stay in San Francisco a little more welcoming.
