Kyousuke
Dreamer
Senior
Tell me when, and why, you give or take Karma from me. Otherwise it is meaningless.
Posts: 271
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Post by Kyousuke on Nov 12, 2007 5:56:12 GMT 1
How to clear your bed Vol.1
"Wow, that was great. Here, take this pregnancy test, I want to see if I broke my record."
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Post by Alkaiser on Nov 12, 2007 6:04:41 GMT 1
How to clear your bed, vol. 3
Ask if your partner came with a complimentary bottle of 'pepto bismol'.
[it's not supposed to make any sense...yet.]
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Post by Director Troutman on Nov 12, 2007 6:31:46 GMT 1
How to clear your bed vol. 2 (Al missed it out):
Glance at your clock, slap your forehead and mutter something about having an appointment about 'that damned rash'.
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Kyousuke
Dreamer
Senior
Tell me when, and why, you give or take Karma from me. Otherwise it is meaningless.
Posts: 271
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Post by Kyousuke on Nov 12, 2007 6:37:51 GMT 1
I started a trend.
Vol. 4
The next morning: If you're not attractive I I'm going to throw up on you.
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Felix
Dreamer
MISSING IN ACTION
You think you have demons? My past is riddled with more than just your average demons.
Posts: 188
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Post by Felix on Nov 12, 2007 7:05:55 GMT 1
They needed to have a section of that video go something like this...
'Waking up with someone next to you, completely oblivious to what you and they, most likely have done....'
Of course, it would be much funnier. I just don't really do funny.
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Post by victor on Nov 12, 2007 23:18:35 GMT 1
How to clear your bed vol. 5:
Say "You looked a lot better when I was drunk/high."
How to clear your bed for men:
Say "I love you so much. Maybe I won't kill you like all the others."
How to clear your bed for women:
Say "Do you really love me? If you do, you'll need to get the approval of my uncle Vito and his other... associates."
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Post by Maverik on Nov 14, 2007 3:56:05 GMT 1
How to clear your bed vol. 6:
Look at the discarded condom and start screaming "My babies! You killed my babies!" until she runs out the door.
Variants include... "Why would you kill them?!" and "You murderer! Baby killer!"
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Martin Tome
Dreamer
MISSING IN ACTION
Love is the world's strongest adhesive.
Posts: 142
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Post by Martin Tome on Nov 14, 2007 23:32:46 GMT 1
How to clear your bed Vol. 7
When she awakes, be sure to be strattled, on top of her, crying (eyedrops work), holding an old axe and say:
"*crying noise* And then... there was *crying* ONE!" *bring down the axe next to her head.*
Or you could say
"I know Dante Williams."
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Post by Director Troutman on Nov 14, 2007 23:53:42 GMT 1
Volume 8:
Look your post-coital partner deeply in the eyes, with a meaningful smile and say "I never thought anyone could do that like momma/daddy, but I guess I was wrong."
Just note, this may have an inverse effect below the Mason-Dixon line, but then again, if that's the case, why would you be sleeping with someone who isn't a relative?
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Kyousuke
Dreamer
Senior
Tell me when, and why, you give or take Karma from me. Otherwise it is meaningless.
Posts: 271
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Post by Kyousuke on Nov 15, 2007 0:01:39 GMT 1
Vol.9
::pulls out a click counter and push button with thumb:: Hey, guess what? You're number one hundred!
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Post by Director Troutman on Nov 15, 2007 2:08:03 GMT 1
Vol.9 ::pulls out a click counter and push button with thumb:: Hey, guess what? You're number one hundred! Having done a few shifts as a doorman in the past, and having had my own clicker, I'm both ashamed and proud to admit that I've actually done that, for the sole purpose of getting rid of a one-night stand, though I didn't have enough foresight to keep it at 99 beforehand. Sadly, she questioned if individual sessions counted and asked to be whichever number was next. =/ Hey, back then I didn't pick 'em up based on what was between their ears...
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Kyousuke
Dreamer
Senior
Tell me when, and why, you give or take Karma from me. Otherwise it is meaningless.
Posts: 271
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Post by Kyousuke on Nov 15, 2007 2:20:02 GMT 1
I lawled.
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Martin Tome
Dreamer
MISSING IN ACTION
Love is the world's strongest adhesive.
Posts: 142
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Post by Martin Tome on Nov 15, 2007 4:59:54 GMT 1
Realy? I nearly threw up.
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Post by victor on Nov 15, 2007 5:52:46 GMT 1
Vol. 10:
Lower your head and go still for a few seconds. Then look up, glance around the room, and say "Who are you? How did I get here? Why am I...?" Then jump out of bed, back away and scream "Oh no! (Insert name here) took over again! You must've met my other personality! NOOOOOO!" Then run away screaming out of the room.
Vol 11. For Men:
Note: This is for after marriage sex only.
After sex, claim that you're actually a Mormon and now the woman must now join your other wives and travel to your Mormon tribe under pain of death.
Vol. 12 For Women:
Start acting like Annie Wilkes in Misery, using her weird way of phrasing things and acting obsessive while being maternally caring with a psychotic streak of danger after the sex. When the man begins to freak out, laugh and say you were just kidding. When the man calms down, say you are going to "get something special" for him, and leave the room. Go downstairs and find his axe, then rush upstairs and into his room while maniacally shrieking "TIME TO RINSE!"
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Post by Shamino Warhen Ph.D on Nov 15, 2007 21:55:06 GMT 1
You guys aren't allowed to write anymore until they become funny.
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Post by Kazuki Akimoto on Nov 15, 2007 22:47:07 GMT 1
You guys aren't allowed to write anymore until they become funny. Ladies and gentlemen, the pot just called the kettle black.
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Martin Tome
Dreamer
MISSING IN ACTION
Love is the world's strongest adhesive.
Posts: 142
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Post by Martin Tome on Nov 15, 2007 23:43:09 GMT 1
im gonna have to agree with shamminio.
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Post by Kazuki Akimoto on Nov 16, 2007 0:13:28 GMT 1
im gonna have to agree with shamminio. When you can both spell his name correctly and stop being a brown-noser, I encourage it. For now, I believe the general path of the thread was quite obvious. Don't find it funny? Bugger off. You don't find me piping up in OOC threads that I don't find amusing because -I- specifically don't find them funny. Really, if that's all you can say, then please don't waste the breath. Jeez.
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Post by Tiao Lei Shen on Nov 16, 2007 0:17:50 GMT 1
Yup, if you guys want to learn how to be nice, follow the example of Hircine High Staff.
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Post by Kazuki Akimoto on Nov 16, 2007 0:47:03 GMT 1
Yup, if you guys want to learn how to be nice, follow the example of Hircine High Staff. Excuse my less-than-cordial mini-rant. I've spent the last five days doing renovations on my apartment for Tanya arriving. Much as I'm not ashamed I live in a hovel, I'd rather not impose my own lack of order and laziness to repaint on her. Tired, stressed out, back off the cigarettes and I've not had a drop of alcohol since the weekend (though I'm fairly certain I drank enough then to level a rhino). I assure you all, by next Tuesday I'll be in much better spirits. Until then, hell, just keep ducking. Oh, and Tiao? I made no reference on whether people were being nice or not in my comment. Liam ::EDIT:: ALSO!!! Taiku isn't a staff account here, thus, by a convoluted manner of thinking, I'm exempted from that remark.
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