Post by Victoria Alexander on Feb 11, 2008 20:56:00 GMT 1
(Since the resturant's basement is her current 'home' and shes not going to be going out in the street, Guess Ill post it in here)
Music seemed to drift downward as Victoria laid in the small cot that she called her own. The muffled songs coming from above the restaurant. She tried to focus on the lyrics and music but her mind kept drifting towards one person. In the past two years she had been wanting to say one thing to him. It was more than a question than a statement. It seemed to eat at her even though she knew that if she would come face to face that she might not have the courage to say it.
Big, bad Victoria. If only they could see her now. She had no purpose and was no longer needed. She felt disposable. She even had to conclude that she let everything happen to her. She found the best excuse of all her pain that she put herself through was because she felt guilty. Piling it all up to punish herself for not doing the right thing in the end. With her parents. Her friends. Who would want her now that she was disposable.
It raised questions to why she even decided to come here. Why she let herself stay and why she wanted so badly to ask that one simple question to Taiku.
“The past is the past Victoria get over yourself. You cant make the world a better place. Every time you do, you screw it up more and more.”
But it itched at her. Did he think of her, did he want to know what she has been through?
Victoria lifted the pillow from under her and quickly placed it over her head. “Of course not you stupid twit.” She said in a loud voice. Clearly muffled from the pillow. Dropping her arms to her sides and sighing, the pillow sat limp on her head. She felt her own breath bounce back from the fabric and hit her face. Her eyes closed as she hated herself for caring about him. For getting close to him when she knew everything she touched turned to crap.
Grabbing the pillow she lifted her body and went into a sitting position. Reaching over to a set of boxes. She grabbed her cell phone. Hitting a few buttons, she now looked upon her address book. Name of her friends and their numbers going by, one by one as she scrolled down. No doubt their numbers changed within the two years that had past. She stopped. The highlight of Taiku’s name and number flashed before her. She knew if she tried to call it would probably be the annoying sounds of the disconnected message. Instead she pushed upwards and dialed Tak’s number.
She knew he would never change his. She just wanted to hear an old voice. A familiar voice. She felt so alone in such a big city. Hearing the vibrant rings one after the other. The sound of Tak’s voice ran through her cell phone. “Tak its me..” But she was cut off as his message ran off. “Hey, This is Tak. You know where to find me.” She sighed as she looked towards the floor, her elbows on her knees. Tears clouding her vision as the automatic voice told her to push 1 to leave a message or to wait for the tone. She closed her phone.
Sitting up straiter in the bed, she took a deep breath, sucking in the air and letting it go slowly. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. She chased him away and now she felt she did the wrong thing. She no longer had her best friend beside her and it was her fault as well.
They had grown so close since she was 16. Tak wanted more from her. Something she couldn’t give. She had broken his heart so many times but he had come back each time after. It had been a year since the last time she saw him. Their last encounter was more a surprise when Victoria thought she couldn’t be found.
((Ooc: Time for a flash back woooooo -makes your imagination go wavy just like the movies- whoo eeeee ooooo))
-Flashback-
In a musty old apartment in New York. The hideaway Victoria had found for herself.
“Tak I told you this last time I don’t want to see you.” Her voice stern, angry as Tak walked towards her. He seemed like a foot taller as Victoria tried to stand her ground. “Leave me alone.” She felt her hand move back, and before it could swipe across Taks face, it was caught in his hand.
“Why Victoria, Why don’t you want to stay with us. With me and the boys. With Nicholas, Elizabeth. Everyone is so worried about you. You haven’t been by in 6 months. And when you did you hardly said a word. What’s the matter Victoria. Tell me.”
The urgency in his voice couldn’t be mistaken. Victoria’s eyes shifted to the old worn carpeted floor. Her wrist still gripped in his hand. She could feel his strength and knew that if she tried to attack he could easily knock her down. She was malnourished, battered and beaten, barely able to keep herself fed, let alone standing enough to fight each night to help make some cash.
“Victoria please, your not yourself. Your putting yourself through hell and you don’t need to. Your going to be nothing but skin and bone if you let this continue on. You can’t do this on your own. I’ve watched you become someones punching bag. I’ve seen your bruised eyes, your arms and legs. You can’t do this alone please Victoria come home.”
Taking her hand back she screamed at him.
“NO, IM NOT GOING BACK. I can’t go back. I wont go back. I HATE YOU. GET OUT!!”
Turning her back to him she waited for him to heed her words. Instead she could feel arms move around her. His chest against her back. She tried to wiggle free but could not move from his hold.
“Let me go Tak!”
But before she could say anything else his lips where beside her ear. She could feel the slight shiver of his body. Feeling his breath quicken. There was a waver in his voice as he spoke softly. She couldn’t help but cry. She had brought her best friend to tears.
“I’m sorry I could not protect you. That I could have not stopped what had happened at Varron. That I could have seen your pain before it had come. I tried to keep at a distance but you know how I feel about you Victoria. You called me your big brother. But your big brother can not see you like this. Don’t live in the past, don’t hate or punish yourself for what you could not stop. You aren’t super woman. You can not deal with this on your own. If you do, Im afraid for you.
I know you feel strongly about this. That you want to be on your own, to disconnect from the world. I know how stubborn you are. You’re the strongest and the most stubborn woman I’ve known. I don’t want to see you fall. Please come to see that this reckless life you choose to live will kill you. I don’t want to see that Vic. Please tell me you will come home. Tell me you will come home Victoria. Please I beg you.”
-End of Flashback-
“I lied to him.” She told herself as she wrapped her arms around her body. “I said I would. But I didn’t, I ran. I ran without saying goodbye.” her voice seemed to cut off in the end of her own sentence followed by hard cries that rippled through her body. The room was quiet, the music either turned down or off. The only thing that bounced off the hard rock walls were her own cries that drifted out of the open basement window and into the night wind.
Music seemed to drift downward as Victoria laid in the small cot that she called her own. The muffled songs coming from above the restaurant. She tried to focus on the lyrics and music but her mind kept drifting towards one person. In the past two years she had been wanting to say one thing to him. It was more than a question than a statement. It seemed to eat at her even though she knew that if she would come face to face that she might not have the courage to say it.
Big, bad Victoria. If only they could see her now. She had no purpose and was no longer needed. She felt disposable. She even had to conclude that she let everything happen to her. She found the best excuse of all her pain that she put herself through was because she felt guilty. Piling it all up to punish herself for not doing the right thing in the end. With her parents. Her friends. Who would want her now that she was disposable.
It raised questions to why she even decided to come here. Why she let herself stay and why she wanted so badly to ask that one simple question to Taiku.
“The past is the past Victoria get over yourself. You cant make the world a better place. Every time you do, you screw it up more and more.”
But it itched at her. Did he think of her, did he want to know what she has been through?
Victoria lifted the pillow from under her and quickly placed it over her head. “Of course not you stupid twit.” She said in a loud voice. Clearly muffled from the pillow. Dropping her arms to her sides and sighing, the pillow sat limp on her head. She felt her own breath bounce back from the fabric and hit her face. Her eyes closed as she hated herself for caring about him. For getting close to him when she knew everything she touched turned to crap.
Grabbing the pillow she lifted her body and went into a sitting position. Reaching over to a set of boxes. She grabbed her cell phone. Hitting a few buttons, she now looked upon her address book. Name of her friends and their numbers going by, one by one as she scrolled down. No doubt their numbers changed within the two years that had past. She stopped. The highlight of Taiku’s name and number flashed before her. She knew if she tried to call it would probably be the annoying sounds of the disconnected message. Instead she pushed upwards and dialed Tak’s number.
She knew he would never change his. She just wanted to hear an old voice. A familiar voice. She felt so alone in such a big city. Hearing the vibrant rings one after the other. The sound of Tak’s voice ran through her cell phone. “Tak its me..” But she was cut off as his message ran off. “Hey, This is Tak. You know where to find me.” She sighed as she looked towards the floor, her elbows on her knees. Tears clouding her vision as the automatic voice told her to push 1 to leave a message or to wait for the tone. She closed her phone.
Sitting up straiter in the bed, she took a deep breath, sucking in the air and letting it go slowly. She didn’t know what was wrong with her. She chased him away and now she felt she did the wrong thing. She no longer had her best friend beside her and it was her fault as well.
They had grown so close since she was 16. Tak wanted more from her. Something she couldn’t give. She had broken his heart so many times but he had come back each time after. It had been a year since the last time she saw him. Their last encounter was more a surprise when Victoria thought she couldn’t be found.
((Ooc: Time for a flash back woooooo -makes your imagination go wavy just like the movies- whoo eeeee ooooo))
-Flashback-
In a musty old apartment in New York. The hideaway Victoria had found for herself.
“Tak I told you this last time I don’t want to see you.” Her voice stern, angry as Tak walked towards her. He seemed like a foot taller as Victoria tried to stand her ground. “Leave me alone.” She felt her hand move back, and before it could swipe across Taks face, it was caught in his hand.
“Why Victoria, Why don’t you want to stay with us. With me and the boys. With Nicholas, Elizabeth. Everyone is so worried about you. You haven’t been by in 6 months. And when you did you hardly said a word. What’s the matter Victoria. Tell me.”
The urgency in his voice couldn’t be mistaken. Victoria’s eyes shifted to the old worn carpeted floor. Her wrist still gripped in his hand. She could feel his strength and knew that if she tried to attack he could easily knock her down. She was malnourished, battered and beaten, barely able to keep herself fed, let alone standing enough to fight each night to help make some cash.
“Victoria please, your not yourself. Your putting yourself through hell and you don’t need to. Your going to be nothing but skin and bone if you let this continue on. You can’t do this on your own. I’ve watched you become someones punching bag. I’ve seen your bruised eyes, your arms and legs. You can’t do this alone please Victoria come home.”
Taking her hand back she screamed at him.
“NO, IM NOT GOING BACK. I can’t go back. I wont go back. I HATE YOU. GET OUT!!”
Turning her back to him she waited for him to heed her words. Instead she could feel arms move around her. His chest against her back. She tried to wiggle free but could not move from his hold.
“Let me go Tak!”
But before she could say anything else his lips where beside her ear. She could feel the slight shiver of his body. Feeling his breath quicken. There was a waver in his voice as he spoke softly. She couldn’t help but cry. She had brought her best friend to tears.
“I’m sorry I could not protect you. That I could have not stopped what had happened at Varron. That I could have seen your pain before it had come. I tried to keep at a distance but you know how I feel about you Victoria. You called me your big brother. But your big brother can not see you like this. Don’t live in the past, don’t hate or punish yourself for what you could not stop. You aren’t super woman. You can not deal with this on your own. If you do, Im afraid for you.
I know you feel strongly about this. That you want to be on your own, to disconnect from the world. I know how stubborn you are. You’re the strongest and the most stubborn woman I’ve known. I don’t want to see you fall. Please come to see that this reckless life you choose to live will kill you. I don’t want to see that Vic. Please tell me you will come home. Tell me you will come home Victoria. Please I beg you.”
-End of Flashback-
“I lied to him.” She told herself as she wrapped her arms around her body. “I said I would. But I didn’t, I ran. I ran without saying goodbye.” her voice seemed to cut off in the end of her own sentence followed by hard cries that rippled through her body. The room was quiet, the music either turned down or off. The only thing that bounced off the hard rock walls were her own cries that drifted out of the open basement window and into the night wind.